- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Oh okay gotcha! People use HOCD for both terms sometimes so I got confused!!! Okay so I had SEVERE sexual orientation OCD, I convinced myself I was gay and thought it would never go away, that i would always be plagued with being a “lesbian”. But I am totally back to normal now!!! It’s completely gone, it’s just your fear of being gay that causes you to be “sure” you “must be gay”. I had the exact same thing and I am not. It doesn’t change your sexual identity, it’s just the stress hormones released by your anxiety that make your normal sex drive not as strong :)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Please believe me, I struggled so long and so hard, ever day with it. But it is gone now. Completely. I still feel anxious, but anxiety apart from the story we give it is SO EASY to extinguish!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Gotcha, I’m glad to hear that! I’ve also been away for 2 weeks for the holidays, so I haven’t seen him at all in person and we’ve only been talking via FaceTime and text. So I’ve had a lot of free time to be ruminating and worrying. Any tips on dealing with the guilt thing around the thoughts?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Just knowing that those thoughts are just neural pathways ocd has carved out, but the more you just dismiss them as fake and just like not worth thinking about at all bc I promise you no matter how bad or real they seem, they aren’t. I spent a YEAR worried about my sexuality and I wasted that time worrying about something that wasn’t going to be changed no matter how much I thought i was lesbian, I wasn’t. Working on dismissing them creates neural pathways the thought patterns that are positive, and positive thought patterns release more dopamine and feel good chemicals so you will begin to feel better day to day :) does that help? Let me know if you are stuck on something specific
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hi Dianaaa, I’m interested to know what kind of ERP or things you did to challenge and ultimately dismiss the HOCD?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Harm ocd? Or sexual orientation ocd?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sexual orientation OCD
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I feel like I won’t be truly happy with him unless I tell him about it- then I know that’s exactly what the anxiety wants me to do, because that gives it attention when it doesn’t need to be given attention.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Tell him! Be honest about it but also include “that’s what my ocd makes me feel.” Let him know you are aware of it. If he is a good guy and right for you; he will not judge you and understand. We all have weird things we think about, even people without ocd!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Had a feeling you might say that- and I agree that if he’s a good guy and the right guy he’d understand. But I don’t want to tell him. I don’t want to give the ocd the attention that I know it is craving, and I don’t want to give in to what my brain is telling me to do. It’s almost like “tell them or else ___ will happen”. But if I don’t, and I just keep going, and that horrible thing doesn’t happen- maybe that will help me understand it’s all in my head and it will go away. All I know is that I’ve never met anyone like him and I could see us being so amazing together- I couldn’t imagine him not being around. The OCD is just making it so hard for me to let all this go ??
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I don’t think you will be giving ocd attention if you tell him - I think it will be reducing and harmful to the ocd because you aren’t letting it make you do anything, you are purposefully letting him know. People with other things like severe depression or scizophrenia — more severe but still - need to inform their significant others of this fact bc it takes the attention back onto the person despite being honest about your struggles. Don’t tell him Bc if I don’t then_____, tell him bc I think he deserves to know if you all have a shot. But that’s my opinion, hope I’m helping
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I actually did not do erp, just waited it out in agony for a year!!! Convinced myself I was lesbian, has groinal responses, literal false attraction that was so real, every single night for a year. I just learned whenever we obsess about something with ocd, it’s completely ego dystonic, which it’s never about something we are or will do, only things we are afraid of doing. This fact does not make the ocd go away but it takes you out of trapping yourself in the fear...
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w ago
You know when you have weird thoughts about a coworker and because you have OCD these thoughts really stick and you panic and feel sick? Yeah that’s me and I’ve struggled with having intrusive thoughts about my coworker and now he just got in a relationship with my coworker and my intrusive thoughts are WORSE I thought they would be better? And initially they were because I was relieved that he couldn’t be weird with me now because he has a girlfriend. But this is the thought that i cannot get over- my OCD is like you’re jealous that he doesn’t like you and he’s not with you instead and i envy this girl he is with. Why the fuck am I having these thoughts while I’m in a healthy relationship and love my boyfriend to DEATH- like I know he is my forever. I couldn’t look at him today because I’ve been obsessing over this thought I’ve had in work and now I have to find a new job I hope no one will judge me for these thoughts or maybe someone has had this weird thought before? :(
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
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