- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh okay gotcha! People use HOCD for both terms sometimes so I got confused!!! Okay so I had SEVERE sexual orientation OCD, I convinced myself I was gay and thought it would never go away, that i would always be plagued with being a “lesbian”. But I am totally back to normal now!!! It’s completely gone, it’s just your fear of being gay that causes you to be “sure” you “must be gay”. I had the exact same thing and I am not. It doesn’t change your sexual identity, it’s just the stress hormones released by your anxiety that make your normal sex drive not as strong :)
- Date posted
- 6y
Please believe me, I struggled so long and so hard, ever day with it. But it is gone now. Completely. I still feel anxious, but anxiety apart from the story we give it is SO EASY to extinguish!
- Date posted
- 6y
Gotcha, I’m glad to hear that! I’ve also been away for 2 weeks for the holidays, so I haven’t seen him at all in person and we’ve only been talking via FaceTime and text. So I’ve had a lot of free time to be ruminating and worrying. Any tips on dealing with the guilt thing around the thoughts?
- Date posted
- 6y
Just knowing that those thoughts are just neural pathways ocd has carved out, but the more you just dismiss them as fake and just like not worth thinking about at all bc I promise you no matter how bad or real they seem, they aren’t. I spent a YEAR worried about my sexuality and I wasted that time worrying about something that wasn’t going to be changed no matter how much I thought i was lesbian, I wasn’t. Working on dismissing them creates neural pathways the thought patterns that are positive, and positive thought patterns release more dopamine and feel good chemicals so you will begin to feel better day to day :) does that help? Let me know if you are stuck on something specific
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi Dianaaa, I’m interested to know what kind of ERP or things you did to challenge and ultimately dismiss the HOCD?
- Date posted
- 6y
Harm ocd? Or sexual orientation ocd?
- Date posted
- 6y
Sexual orientation OCD
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel like I won’t be truly happy with him unless I tell him about it- then I know that’s exactly what the anxiety wants me to do, because that gives it attention when it doesn’t need to be given attention.
- Date posted
- 6y
Tell him! Be honest about it but also include “that’s what my ocd makes me feel.” Let him know you are aware of it. If he is a good guy and right for you; he will not judge you and understand. We all have weird things we think about, even people without ocd!
- Date posted
- 6y
Had a feeling you might say that- and I agree that if he’s a good guy and the right guy he’d understand. But I don’t want to tell him. I don’t want to give the ocd the attention that I know it is craving, and I don’t want to give in to what my brain is telling me to do. It’s almost like “tell them or else ___ will happen”. But if I don’t, and I just keep going, and that horrible thing doesn’t happen- maybe that will help me understand it’s all in my head and it will go away. All I know is that I’ve never met anyone like him and I could see us being so amazing together- I couldn’t imagine him not being around. The OCD is just making it so hard for me to let all this go ??
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t think you will be giving ocd attention if you tell him - I think it will be reducing and harmful to the ocd because you aren’t letting it make you do anything, you are purposefully letting him know. People with other things like severe depression or scizophrenia — more severe but still - need to inform their significant others of this fact bc it takes the attention back onto the person despite being honest about your struggles. Don’t tell him Bc if I don’t then_____, tell him bc I think he deserves to know if you all have a shot. But that’s my opinion, hope I’m helping
- Date posted
- 6y
I actually did not do erp, just waited it out in agony for a year!!! Convinced myself I was lesbian, has groinal responses, literal false attraction that was so real, every single night for a year. I just learned whenever we obsess about something with ocd, it’s completely ego dystonic, which it’s never about something we are or will do, only things we are afraid of doing. This fact does not make the ocd go away but it takes you out of trapping yourself in the fear...
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 20w
i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.
- Date posted
- 14w
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
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