Any one else acted on urges but to test the thoughts ? I have told my therapist and she says it doesnt meen I'm a pedo but it's just a compulsion and that I'm doing it to check I rubbed my hands up my little boys thighs in an attempt to check that I definitely wouldnt feel anything but then when I did it I felt like that meant I molested him. I've had this happen befor and i know its ocd but its killing me

[Deleted]

Date posted: 5y

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b2192

Date posted: 5y

Have you experienced this ?

b2192

Date posted: 5y

Yeah I keep trying to tell myself that, then the ocd just kicks in again. I know I dont feel like that towards my child and I am just checking. I'm just afraid to talk about it with people in fear that they will see it diffetently

Ella___

Date posted: 5y

Well you are talking to me about it and thats a good start and although mine is false i still struggle because it feels so real so trust me youre not alone in this my ocd comes in as well and always tries to make it something its not

Ella___

Date posted: 5y

We will get through this together girl!

b2192

Date posted: 5y

Thanks ! It's nice to know people understand. OCD just makes you feel so alone.

Ella___

Date posted: 5y

OCD really does make you feel alone as well as suicidal at times thats why it’s important to know that you have others that go through the same thing as well trust me I dont believe youre a pedo nor do I believe that you molested anyone. I know its a struggle and its something we have to learn to live with but think about it if we did molest we wouldnt be feeling guilty we would be feeling guilt free

b2192

Date posted: 5y

I already feel guilty, I know I wouldnt hurt by little boy in anyway and I dont intend to but I hate this feeling of having to prove to myself. Have you experienced this ?

b2192

Date posted: 5y

Yeah that's very true. It's just awful when there is constant doubt then my brain is saying you need to check again to make sure you definitely dont enjoy it But I've made a promise to myself that I'm not going to check again as I know it just makes me feel worse.

Ella___

Date posted: 5y

Thats ocds intent to make you feel worse so it has power over you

b2192

Date posted: 5y

Thanks I hope you feel better soon as I seen you were struggling too x

Ella___

Date posted: 5y

Thank you I’m trying my best

Ella___

Date posted: 5y

I know exactly how you feel I have this false memory where the back of my hand very slightly and barely passes by someones abdomen and it barely touches the abdomen barely and my ocd is like what if you did that to someone you care about what if you did that to check and make sure you didnt feel anything to make sure you didnt feel arousal and now I’m over here like does that mean if it did happen I’m a pedo and I molested someone

b2192

Date posted: 5y

Yeah but I know I did it Like I did in on purpose to check the thought.. obviously I didnt want to molest my child but the fact I touched his thigh to check makes me feel like I molested him because I checked. I'm so exhausted by all of this

Ella___

Date posted: 5y

I know its hard to fight it but think about it if you did in fact molest him you wouldnt be feeling guilty like you do right now

Ella___

Date posted: 5y

Also molestation is the act of touching someone for sexual gratification you didnt touch him for sexual gratification you touched him to make sure you didnt feel anything towards him

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