One of the hardest things about OCD is that people who don’t have it NEVER understand it. It can be so frustrating. I’m so upset right now because I was talking to my friend, who is aware that I’m in therapy for OCD. One of my themes is a fear of illnesses. My friend started to tell me a story that began with “OMG, I know someone in the hospital who died because of —“ I cut him off and told him I can’t listen to the end of that story because it will freak me out. What did he do? Finished it anyway. “No, let me finish, I was just going to tell you that...” as if his desire to tell me was somehow more pressing than my anxiety? Now I’m freaking out about the story, of course. This was completely preventable. I’m both angry AND anxious. Great.

hope

Date posted: 4y

i get this, i have to avoid stories about people dying because it’ll trigger my ocd and ill think that i am going to die too. my advice is to just let the anxious thoughts go and don’t dwell on them, as hard as it may be, i understand that it can feel really real, but the only way your mind is going to be at ease is if you just don’t dwell on the possibilities and don’t question it, just let the thought come and go and i promise it’ll feel much better than sitting with the thought for hours and beating yourself up. <3 i wish you the best!

Crissy

Date posted: 4y

You’re totally right, needed to hear that. Thank you 🙌🏾

Fathomable

Date posted: 4y

I wrote a longer reply but my internet failed and it didn't post. Basically, I don't think the fact that you shouldn't be avoiding triggers actually negates the fact that your friend was really inconsiderate, and you have the right to be upset and talk about it. It should be your decision, so it's not an excuse for him to say that he was challenging your OCD or anything like that.

Crissy

Date posted: 4y

Exactly, thank you! I’ve made progress but there are some triggers I’m just not ready for. And OCD or not, I don’t understand why he felt it was appropriate to ignore someone’s plea not to tell an upsetting story.

Fathomable

Date posted: 4y

@Crissy Men are genuinely not taught to be considerate. It sound sexist but really, the number of men I've had to explain the basics of consent to after they fuck up is through the roof and it's not just a rape culture thing, it applies to so much of how they behave. Girls are judged, shamed, rejected and ostracised if we bulldoze the comfort zones of others, boys aren't even taught that other people's boundaries are a thing, let alone how to behave appropriately to respect them. When they encounter others' boundaries, in the form of discomfort/resistance/disengagement, they either are oblivious to it since they've never been taught to notice and respect it, or take it as an opportunity to argue/insist to impose their own preferences. It's dehumanising and unfortunate and it's everyone's responsibility to learn to respect boundaries.

Crissy

Date posted: 4y

@Scoggy I didn’t think of it this way. But you could be right that he just does not have a firm grasp on boundaries. Very unfortunate that it took this form, because even if I’m not panicking about what he said, I will always remember it.

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