i need some help. i have hocd as well as a porn addiction. from a young age i stumbled upon porn, specifically lesbian porn and watersports. let me just tell you now i am straight but because of stumbling upon the porn it has turned my whole life upside down. its made me think that im gay, and that i have a pee kink. im 10000000% straight. im in a relationship with a boy who i adore. i see women as sisters and im not attracted to them, but for some reason my hocd has come back stronger than ever after! i was doing so well and now after months of battling it i’ve relapsed in watching lesbian porn, and done the thing that im most ashamed of, i was masturbating to daddy kink videos and my ocd told me to look up peeing instead and then i got aroused and peed. i feel ashamed and so disgusted i feel like dying :( i feel like i have to confess it to someone or i will explode and have. a panic attack. is this ocd doing this? I can’t go back to feeling like this again. it was so hard to beat this the first time. my ocd is a mess. i have a spending addiction, porn addiction, and now this godawful gross pee thing :( is anyone else going through this or have been through similar with porn addiction and ocd thinking you like pee kinks? :( i just need some advice because i don’t know what to do and contrary to what my ocd thinks i don’t like the addictions it just makes me think that i do and I can’t live without them. but i can :( i need help :( i don’t wanna feel like this disgusting person. i was doing so well :(

Brady

Date posted: 5y

I don’t want to give you reassurance, because I know that will ultimately be detrimental in your recovery from OCD. I’ll say this though - the sexualization of culture & the availability of pornography all can make someone stray from the path of normality. This can be changed though. You’re just going to need to detox from Porn. I think that you’re obsessed with your sexuality, and you have a compulsion to watch porn, whether it is to prove that you aren’t gay, into weird stuff, etc - that is beyond me. But you need to immediately stop watching porn. That’s indulging your compulsions. When you get anxious about your sexuality, just breathe and say “maybe I am gay. Maybe I am bisexual. Maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m straight. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” Look up this channel on YouTube - it’s called “OCD and anxiety.” The guy is really helpful. But above all, please, look into therapy. NOCD is a great thing and ERP with an actual therapist will help immensely

chlo1997

Date posted: 5y

thank you this helped a lot 🥺

pacient 0

Date posted: 5y

So you are a girl ?

chlo1997

Date posted: 5y

yes

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

So you actually have a porn addiction (which means you've tried to quit and failed repeatedly, you watch it frequently and prioritise it over other more important things, you spend time or money on it that you don't have, etc?). A lot of people come on here and say they have a porn problem when actually they watch a normal amount of porn and just have a shame problem.

chlo1997

Date posted: 5y

no i definitely have a porn addiction and have had it since i was 12! im 23 now. i have panic attacks over this, can’t sleep. i had £40000 and now i have £117 left! it’s getting out of hand

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