POCD Trigger: I really hate this disorder and I don’t know how much longer I can do this for. I work at a daycare and I’m constantly bombarded with these thoughts that I have hurt a child or even molested them. It is the worst feeling and part of me knows I’d never do that but my OCD really does take over my life. Today, for instance, I was rocking on of the children and I rocked them for two seconds by accident and it told me I molested them. And when I when to pick them up to put them in the play area my hand accidente touched the front of their leg and it told me again I had hurt them, a similar thing happened with another child today where I was feeding them and I accidentally rocked them and I was now a molester. It really is the hardest disorder to deal with. And I hate how it attacked my occupation, I love working with kids and child psychology and everything, but my ocd is really affecting everything.

I'm so sorry this is happening, I experience this too. How I get through it is acceptance and "wise mind." When one of those thoughts comes up, realize it's not a monster that's terrorizing you, it's you. It's your brain caring for the kids so much, its scared to hurt them, even on accident. Your brain means well, but it's scared of hurting someone so it copes by using compulsions and cycles. Accept that these thoughts are just thoughts, they dont mean anything. Use wise mind by putting your fears and logic aside, and remind yourself, "these are just thoughts." (I say dont use logic because OCD really isn't logical. Trying to figure it out only feeds into the cycles.) Just keep using this app and practice skills as often as you can. Good luck to you ??

I too work in a caring field and have unwanted sexual thoughts at work. I did have to take a break from work this summer to get my OCD under control and do some serious ERP but now I am back and can tell you that you can do it! Medication hugely helped me plus doing deliberate exposure. At first I was disturbed by my thoughts but after accepting that they are like brain farts ( side effects of brain processing) and have no real meaning I felt better. I now use the thoughts as reminders— I check if I am hungry, angry, anxious, tired, or overwhelmed and do what I can to fix those states. I also use the thought to say “hey I really value this person and keeping them safe” that’s why I’m getting this weird thought

Oh my gosh all of these posts right here is so helpful. I’m a pediatric nurse with pocd and it’s killing me. Sometimes I want to change jobs but I don’t want ocd to win. Starting therapy hopefully soon but it’s nice to know others feel the same way. If I’m alone on a room with a child, I get the thought “oh yeah you just did something wrong” even tho I clearly didn’t. That would be the last thing I would want to do I love my patients and all children ? I loved the coping skills posted here I will use them

Bless you ❤️ you’re doing so well. Don’t give up what you love doing but seek professional support

Rbheaton Im sorry you have to go through this as well! And I wish you the best! Thank you so much for your advice I’ll definitely use it as a coping skill)

Hales, oh my! I’m so glad these posts help, they help me too. You seem so sweet! Don’t change professions. You are awesome and a great attribution to society and to your pediatric patients! I understand how stressful it can be, but I’m really proud of you for not giving up on your career! Congrats! You’re amazing.

Bella, Wow what you said really made my night even tho I don’t even know you :) I love how this app can connect complete strangers who probably understand each other better our crazy thoughts than our family members or friends You hang in there with your profession and career goals too, don’t let ocd win!

I suffer from harm OCD the most and sexual intrusive thoughts when doing personal care. For instance every day when I go into work I have the thought “I could ruin my life in 1 second with 1 action today”. That action being: when giving personal care to a male that I ever do slightly mimic the action of male masturbation when cleaning them. My life would be over. I couldn’t live with myself. And in the past I feel I’ve committed actions due to intrusive thoughts, for example, for days I worried I ushered this patient in a rough manner when taking their arm etc. I would tell myself to not say something and I would say it. So the worry of doing that action when giving personal care is driving me insane. If I’ve said things I shouldn’t of etc and done ‘minor’ things that I told myself not to do, where does the line get drawn for horrible horrible actions like I described. I’ve suffered from OCD since 16 and now I’m 23. Thanks for any support I’m lost ?

Thank you so much em❤️

WorriedDriver thank you for sharing your story! I’m proud of you! And thank you for the advice! You’re very sweet:)

aww thank you Hales! If you ever need anything in always around! And you’re amazing! Thank you:)

I’m so sorry @socks23, it really affects those of us that work with children. I wish there was a way to just have a thread for those who work in such an area. We get exposures but the thoughts/false memories still continue!! I’m on a list to see a therapist which should help :)

This sounds exactly like the intrusive thoughts I have. Please, please know that you are not alone. For a long time I avoided personal care, bathing, changing patients due to this. I have even had false memories try to form of me sexually harming pts that caused me much much distress. I am in a much better place now than I used to be, thanks for 4 months of treatment by an ocd specialist. Are you in therapy by a licensed ocd specialist or on a list for one? Exposure and not avoiding triggers along with retraining our responses to the intrusive thoughts is key to recovery :)

I understand what you’re saying, thank you! I think I have seen that account actually. I’ll have another look at them. What I can’t seem to get over is the idea that I am the only one to ever give into an ocd urge that circled more around the intrusive thought than easing the anxiety from one

To go back to your specific comments, you CAN be a nurse and a GREAT one. My therapist has called my OCD my superpower as my hyper attentiveness to detail helps me notice when patients are going down hill. One trick OCD likes to use is to tell you that you are different from everyone else and face more risk than everyone else. **Any** nurse could become sexually inappropriate with a patient. However, you do not have any additional risk towards this than an average individual. Additionally any nurse could be falsely accused. Another trick OCD likes to use is catastrophic thinking. I have had the exact thought “I could ruin my life in one second with one action.” The key is to knowing that this is both catastrophic and all or nothing thinking. You could accidentally be inappropriate with a patient but the results could very widely from the patient not noticing to them filing a complaint but you would likely have an investigation that could lead to a whole range of possibilities including you being absolved and going about your day. The truth is anyone could ruin their life in a second— you are not more likely than another individual. Intrusive thoughts do not represent desires or amount an intention to do something, they are just an idea that forms that scares us.

@halespineapple18 I am a nurse with POCD, Harm, contamination and a couple other subtypes. I would love to chat with you more about working in this profession and dealing with this condition. I wrote on reddit asking if anyone else was working with OCD and I got 2 responses back so there is a small group of us

I would like that too. I don’t have Reddit but I will download and try to join

Worried driver let’s talk do you have a Snapchat or any kind of social meods

I do have Snapchat but it’s got my real name in it so I’m not really comfortable putting it on here. Would be happy to chat with you on reddit however /u/intrusivefarts

I can’t figure out how to find it on reddit but my name is pineapple52018

I am a teacher with the exact same condition. I have been diagnosed with pure ocd, pocd. I have false memories of doing something inappropriate because a child was fiddling with himself in my class,which is natural, but then questioning did I touch him as well??!! Yet these thoughts can win weeks/months after the incident. Bizarre and terribly frightening!!! X

*came

Hi there, I’m aware this post was a while back but I work in healthcare as a nurse and would like to join this group if possible? I feel so alone

Hey ELO! I’m glad you reached out. I’m a pediatric nurse with ocd. How are you doing?

Hi! I’m a newly qualified mental health nurse with OCD. I actually qualify this week but I don’t know if I can do it because of my OCD. Every shift is a battle that I cry about afterwards because of the OCD

I’m so sorry. Nursing is a field that ocd likes to pick on. How does ocd like to present to you during work?

Do you also feel like you’ve done minor things that you would tell yourself not to do? It’s like evidence to me that I’ll do wrong. I’m on the waiting list for nhs but I’m not sure if they are ocd specialists x

I think you, like all ocd sufferers, are trying to find certainty. Certainty that you will not harm a patient, certainty that you have not etc. ocd is the disease of doubt. Accepting uncertainty is a step to recovery. Something I tell myself is “confidence over certainty”. I cannot be certain about anything in life, but I can be confident in myself. Do you have an Instagram, Facebook or twitter? If you do, look up ocdrecoveryuk right now. If you can’t see an ocd specialist soon, reach out to this account, it has been life saving to me!

Ocd will always try to make you feel like you are different :) I promise you it’s still ocd.

ELO, I’m so sorry you are suffering so badly right now. Last year I had to quit nursing briefly because my OCD became so out of control with all sorts of harm thoughts including sexual ones. Fortunately, my job had very good insurance and I was able to find a therapist to work with that was great (all though not OCD trained) and started medication that really worked (although slowly). The medications that worked for me were 200mg sertraline +2 mg of aripiparazole. I truly think the second med made all the difference. I strongly recommend the workbook by Jon Abramowitz. I’ve purchased several and it’s the best one.

thanks @worriedriver for all your additional comments! Those are very helpful. Recognizing these “traps” of ocd thinking is crucial