Hello, this problem of the toc is affecting a lot and it despairs a lot that even makes me want to pull my hair I would like this anxiety to end but maybe my actions will end it is a mind that catches you as if it were someone who talks to you and that disturbs you but not It is someone, you are yourself, you had this disease since I was 10 years old and now I am 18, first it started with the footsteps if there was a line on the ground I did not have to step if I stepped I had the mind that something bad could happen to me so I went back and advanced on the floor line so that nothing happens so it was until later it started as a custom then I started singing and then I did it three times so that nothing happens so it was increasing to 7 and what was the fear because I do not remember very well but it was what I lost my parents or being gay or being beheaded or having my 5 year old cousin raped or my relatives being murdered that was how my mind disturbed me but it was easy to ignore it but after passing time it was not so easy it started me To start at age 11 was where I started to wash but I don't know when was the first time I started to wash a lot I think I did it when I was 7 and 8 every time I touched something I washed three times but at age 11 I washed hands was 3 minutes I think and the lines of the footprints followed the thoughts were worse that I could kill my cat and I be gay and that a serial killer kills a relative or that I get cancer or that they run over or that a tarantula this in my bed or on the wall, floor or ceiling like this and the song continued but it decreased a little it was because if not twice my family would be killed by a murderer and I no longer paid attention to him and the worst comes, something that is worse than to dominate is a tingling that I don't know what disease the tingling is that I have had since 6 years old I started at school I scratched myself and that tingling came out I masturbated at 6 years old and I pornography at 11 years old for that tingling of the penis I have no pain I urinate well and I don't have any injuries, I just feel that tingling and n the glans of the penis I feel it more a tickle I feel it only takes off masturbating but it lasts 20 minutes later it comes back and I have to feel three tingles or tickles to calm me down and if that tickle comes with my mind saying you are gay and with the tickling then I will be gay and I have to make another tickle and saying in my mind I am not gay both at the same time tickling and in my mind I am not gay and before I said it with my mouth but that was at the beginning of 11 years at the end I did not do it I was ashamed I did with my mind so far it continues with the tickling at 18 and at 12 it was the same only that the tingling and hand washing at thirteen it was the same at 14 it was disgusting to speak mouth to mouth And then at 15 I don't make eye contact and it sucked to talk word of mouth with people and handwashed it was 2 minutes and And that bothered at 16 the eye contact really bothered at first at 14 I was ashamed to make contact but then it was customary and I don't know why the truth and the tingling made my mind say something bad and tingling too and I had to say something good along with the tingling to calm me down and that's how it happens and at 17 talking word to mouth it no longer disgusted me but if I was disgusted that a dog kisses me and eye contact kept not doing much truth but sometimes when I want demosya Demonstrate that if I make eye contact if I do If I do and at 18 it's something I don't make eye contact but also not extremely if I do little and talk word of mouth if you give me. A little disgust, but I don't wash when I speak mouth. On the palate only a few times and the tingling of the penis is the one that disturbs me the most is like an orgasm but the son of the orgasm mini-orgasm in the penis every time he squeezed it slowly or I move it with my abdomen and the thoughts I had the last few years was that God will punish me for my mind saying I am God but I am a A normal person like all that tells me this, well I'll say what I thought I'm a person who loves God like all that what I think every time my mind says I'm God but I'm not and that your mom will die like your friend's mom and that disturbs me and that they'll up and that I'll rape or get run over or you stay alone in the world those things and also sex me disturb that my uncle will have sex with me or that. The girl I like will be raped by that which disturbs po Tingling

Hey guys today I just wanted to come here and share an experience I have and I generally don't know what to do I feel like a terrible person for having these thoughts and for thinking them I genuinely don't know what to do I don't know the signs behind it and why I think the way I do but it's honestly driving me crazy I don't know what to do I have a pornography addiction for a long time it's where it's like anytime I'm an intimate moment or am masturbating my head just thinks these weird things always the same repetitive thoughts to of family members your younger sibling or a young child I myself am a 17 year old and I feel so disgusted I feel like I can't live my life anymore I feel like I'm a criminal cuz like it feels like I chose this these thoughts like I actively think them I don't know the signs behind it and I just really need professional help if there's any like therapist here that could fill me in that would be nice I would also like to know if you guys had any similar experiences because for me I feel like I have to rewatch pornography and do it right without the thoughts cuz I feel like the thoughts are just like to prevalent anytime I do anything related to masturbation why do I think this way I'm also just trying to be as honest as I can with this I'm not trying to make myself I guess a victim I'm trying to hold myself accountable if I actually am like this because I also have doubts in my head that tells me that I enjoy these things I feel like I'm going crazy someone help because it feels so real like I acted on them or that I was pleasuring myself to the thoughts and not towards the video it's just how can I live with myself you know also during it it felt like I was thinking the thought for a long period of time like it was dominating my head so I couldn't focus it felt l

I few years ago, I did self-harm a few times, and then I got super into spirituality, and about a year ago, I remembered I did self-harm and ever since haven't been able to shake the guilt off... Constantly, every day, my mind would make me feel guilty about it and think about it all day. It's like my brain knew the thought that I could/ have cut myself scared me, so it kept bringing it up. My family had no idea I had ever done this, so my OCD told me I was a liar for not telling them about every day. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me anymore and send me to a mental hospital if I told them. About 2-3 months ago, I had gotten so fed up with having these thoughts every day and confessed to my mom what I had done, and her reaction was great. And I thought I'd never have thoughts about when I did self-harm again because I finally confessed. I was wrong. Even with people telling me that it's okay, I did that, I can't shake the guilt I had around this event, and even more so the fear/guilt around my own thoughts... My therapist and I talk about how the problem isn't the thoughts but what the OCD does to them. I try to create positive neural pathways, but that just makes me more stressed about it. There are things I'm supposed to tell myself when I feel negative, but I think I get that confused and tell myself those things every time I have thoughts about what I did. Which is feeding into a mental compulsion (replacing every "bad" thought with a "good" one. What works for me is (if I can) do nothing and have the thoughts... It's been hard to get better because I have had no idea what's been happening to me and felt like for the last year I was going crazy... I always thought OCD was cleaning stuff and physical compulsions . Everything that happened to me happened in my head. On the worst days when my OCD is really bad, every single time I was conscious and aware, I was thinking about the fact that I did self-harm. I would lie in bed all day trying to figure out my thoughts because I thought if I watched TV, I would be avoiding important things. I thought I had to figure out all my thoughts. I would ruminate, replay, and second-guess all. day. long. It was hard to recognize it was OCD because I thought I had done something seriously bad and wrong, and that I must deserve these thoughts. I think the trick is that you feel like you must have positive thoughts, and the most distressing thing wasn't necessarily the fact that I did self-harm, but the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I find the best thing you can do is just have all your thoughts in your head and try not to separate them from good and bad, if you can. It's nice to have people who understand!!!! More to come, about the journey. My favorite thing to say when I'm stuck is "that sly devil... OCD. Silly OCD is getting to me right now, but it won't last forever. That sneaky guy tricked me again" Love you!!!

So... I few years ago, I did self-harm a few times, and then I got super into spirituality, and about a year ago, I remembered I did self-harm and ever since haven't been able to shake the guilt off... Constantly, every day, my mind would make me feel guilty about it and think about it all day. It's like my brain knew the thought that I could/ have cut myself scared me, so it kept bringing it up. My family had no idea I had ever done this, so my OCD told me I was a liar for not telling them about every day. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me anymore and send me to a mental hospital if I told them. About 2-3 months ago, I had gotten so fed up with having these thoughts every day and confessed to my mom what I had done, and her reaction was great. And I thought I'd never have thoughts about when I did self-harm again because I finally confessed. I was wrong. Even with people telling me that it's okay, I did that, I can't shake the guilt I had around this event, and even more so the fear/guilt around my own thoughts... My therapist and I talk about how the problem isn't the thoughts but what the OCD does to them. I try to create positive neural pathways, but that just makes me more stressed about it. There are things I'm supposed to tell myself when I feel negative, but I think I get that confused and tell myself those things every time I have thoughts about what I did. Which is feeding into a mental compulsion (replacing every "bad" thought with a "good" one. What works for me is (if I can) do nothing and have the thoughts... It's been hard to get better because I have had no idea what's been happening to me and felt like for the last year I was going crazy... I always thought OCD was cleaning stuff and physical compulsions . Everything that happened to me happened in my head. On the worst days when my OCD is really bad, every single time I was conscious and aware, I was thinking about the fact that I did self-harm. I would lie in bed all day trying to figure out my thoughts because I thought if I watched TV, I would be avoiding important things. I thought I had to figure out all my thoughts. I would ruminate, replay, and second-guess all. day. long. It was hard to do any of the things I loved; OCD took the joy out of it. It was hard to recognize it was OCD because I thought I had done something seriously bad and wrong, and that I must deserve these thoughts. I think the trick is that you feel like you must have positive thoughts, and the most distressing thing wasn't necessarily the fact that I did self-harm, but the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I find the best thing you can do is just have all your thoughts in your head and try not to separate them from good and bad, if you can. It's nice to have people who understand!!!! More to come, about the journey. My favorite thing to say when I'm stuck is "that sly devil... OCD. Silly OCD is getting to me right now, but it won't last forever. That sneaky guy tricked me again." Love you!!!