- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I can handle harm ocd and suicide ocd but accepting the uncertainity of this is just impossoble for me. Anytime I hear people say anything about "oh its okay to be a bad person" my mind immediately goes "even pedos!" Or if i watch a movie about people having weird sexual fantasies brain throws in "including pedophilia!" And the fact that I accept that coming in and out just feels wrong. I feel desensitized
- Date posted
- 4y
It is desensitization but its inevitable with how the brain works. Repeated exposures always leads to that My suggestion is to think outside of a “good” “bad” dicotomy if that makes sense? Just be yourself and focus on your true values and what you truly want in life and trust in that, rather than focus on our anxieties and the actions we do to avoid our thoughts
- Date posted
- 4y
And I get groinals from seeing kids irl now and feel guilty being intimate with my bf like im trying to prove im not one. Im at a loss
- Date posted
- 4y
The groinals are in response to your anxiety, it’s a conditioning you created and it’s ok, just let them happen even if they’re uncomfortable as you grow accepting of them they stop happening or they diminish
- Date posted
- 4y
@Noobtruck1 I read your post earlier and You're really giving me hope
- Date posted
- 4y
@Noobtruck1 Im going to try ssris soon do you have any insight? Without reassurance of course
- Date posted
- 4y
@Iwashere I find that ssris kind of just made me sleepy, and in general medications will just numb you out. Will it be a worthwhile trade to you to numb all your emotions or to deal with sometimes intense anxiety and fear. I found that for myself even if it was rough we are able to outlast and overcome the extremity of our ocd But we all function differently so maybe medication can be better for you than it was me. I’d say just always monitor how you’re feeling on them and discontinue them if they don’t work for you if you go that route. I
- Date posted
- 4y
@Noobtruck1 Yeah ive been scared about it for a while, but I have had extreme mood swings and fear I think if I had something to at least get that under control I could handle therapy better
- Date posted
- 4y
@Iwashere As long as it is used in conjunction with therapy then it’s not a bad idea, pills don’t work the best in the long term on their own but alongside therapy they’re great
- Date posted
- 4y
I have these same thoughts too! Like why don’t I have anxiety maybe I am a pedo. I try not to say “ it’s OCD “ because it might not be and I could be a pedo...idk I have to not reassure myself of anything and live with the uncertainty that maybe I am or maybe I’m not. We shall see. In the meantime I’m going to do my best to live my life with my values. Doesn’t mean that the the thoughts or fear goes away but I invite them along with me as I live my life. But I’m uncertain all I can do is be. Youve got this Peace to you!
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s a very scary midpoint in pocd, what’s likely happened is that you’ve just habituated to the thoughts and you likely are stressed physically or emotionally just it’s dulled and you don’t recognize it The panic that you have felt is a sign that you’re a normal person even if it is torturous
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
This isn't forever, and I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm so uncomfortable in my own body. I can't stop hyperfocusing on every little sensation I experience, especially when I have intrusive thoughts. I can't stop holding my my breath or tensing up when I experience them. I know it's a compulsion, but I genuinely feel so unsettled. The physical sensations of anxiety aren't really there. Like, I'm not nauseous, but I just feel... off. I hate my mind, I hate these thoughts. Like, I wish OCD didn't attack every single thing in my life. I'm feeling really gross right now. I haven't been able to cry in so, so long. It's probably due to my meds, but I miss having that emotional release... Just a mini vent. I've been really struggling against the urges to confess/seek reassurance. One more week until my next psychiatrist appointment, but I'm just really frustrated with my brain right now.
- Date posted
- 19w
I know I am going a bit cuckoo because my period is coming up, but lately it feels like every intrusive thought I have, I *like* it. Like I genuinely feel like I like it, and then I immediately panic because I start checking. Mentally, emotionally, whatever it is. And I know that is a compulsion. I *know* that. But it feels so real that I cannot stop myself. Every single time I check, it still feels like I like the thought, and it is driving me absolutely insane. It is especially the POCD thoughts. They feel so real. I feel like something is going on mentally, like some kind of confusion or glitch, because I swear I was not like this before. I would have intrusive thoughts, and they would feel real, but not *this* real. And I do not even know if this is normal. I know OCD is **supposed** to feel convincing. That is the whole thing. But I have never experienced it to this extreme. I have never gotten the same thought so many times and still felt like, “Oh my God, I did enjoy it,” even after checking a million times. It is like no matter how many times I check, it feels like I liked it. Especially during intimacy :( and it is making me lose it. Then I start thinking, “Well, I am in distress, so maybe that is proof it is not actually me.” But right after, I am like, “What if I am only panicking because I care about what society thinks and not because I actually have morals?” And then I spiral again, wondering if maybe I just care about how I am seen rather than who I am. I am panicking so much no today. I had to take my Xanax today for the first time in two months, and I needed three separate doses. I really need some support right now.
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- Date posted
- 14w
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
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