having so many intrusive thoughts right now, they always attack when i don’t give them reactions and they get so graphic and disgusting, i wanna cry and break down and do compulsions but i also want to heal and just not even give them reactions. this is so hard. i hate this so much, i know who i am, but my ocd questions my morals every second and makes me feel like the most evil person in the world, i hate this.

OvercomingOCD

Date posted: 4y

Hey I’m going through it a little right now too with my disgusting thoughts. Don’t worry we will get through this!!! Thoughts don’t last forever. Just sit with the doubt and uncertainty :)

hope

Date posted: 4y

thank you, it gets so lonely and scary. i feel like my ocd strives for me to feel like this, like i am more evil than anyone and that no one “really knows who i am” and it makes me so anxious :(

OvercomingOCD

Date posted: 4y

@havinghope Trust me I struggle with this a lot too. And sometimes it feels like I am not being hard enough on myself for having thoughts like these, and I question my morality and feel like a hypocrite. But we just have to learn to trust ourselves and not let our minds overtake us. The way I try to look at it is I am no different than the person I was before all of this (a couple months ago) and truthfully nothing has changed except my thoughts. We can choose to respond to the thoughts and let them consume us or just let them pass without judgement. It may feel wrong and like the opposite of what we want to do but it’s the only way to not feed the ocd.

hope

Date posted: 4y

@OvercomingOCD the feeling like i am not being to hard on myself is so true, i feel like i should get the worst punishments and i should purposely give myself a panic attack so that i feel less guilty. i don’t know why my brain does this, i want to grow and get better and get away from these horrible themes so bad, but my ocd knows they give me so much anxiety so that’s why i am stuck on them. i need to remember to not give them reactions even when they get worse and worse. it’s already giving me anxiety just thinking about it, but i know i can’t let this monster take over me. thank you :)

Ella___

Date posted: 4y

Hey girl I am going through it as well I know these intrusives feel as id their real like memories but they really aren’t I know its so hard not to believe them but trust me we are all going through it with you! Try to relax and then think rationally after remember this intrusive popped up out of no where I understand that they seem real because you are able to see them however, they never existed until prior today so what makes you think they are real. The reason we believe they are real is because of the anxiety and guilt they bring us! Remember ocd likes to morf real memories into something they are not! For example, lets say you decided to share food with someone years ago all of a sudden your ocd goes what did you feel when you shared food with that person what where your intentions what if your intentions where evil, then all of a sudden you’re believing have you did have bad intentions. Understand that the reason they bug you is because sometimes intrusives morf and they are no longer what ifs they are legit images that jump from one image to another. Fight it girl you go this if I’m currently fighting it so can you we are in this together!

hope

Date posted: 4y

thank you so much! this comment is so true, i don’t usually see myself as who i was before ocd, i always am jealous of who i was because i didn’t have intrusive thoughts like this, but now it seems like every second of the day i am suffering with images and thoughts i don’t want, i know i can’t give them reactions and i am working on this, we got this! :)

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