Does anyone with ROCD or HOCD notice an increase in intrusive thoughts during certain situations, but not others? I spend all night during work last night ruminating about my 8 year relationship with the love of my life and if I'm secretly gay and will have to leave her. Then I got off work and had a few drinks with my coworkers, during which I was able to be myself and felt mostly free of symptoms/ruminations. It was so nice. Now that I'm back home the intrusive thoughts are turned all the way up again. Is it normal for intrusive thoughts to increase when around my partner and subside when with others?

Your relationship was a source of reassurance? Can you elaborate on this?

That makes a lot of sense man. I am realizing I do the same thing. If I'm feeling particularly gay on certain days I'll cuddle up to my girl and prove to myself that I enjoy the feeling of a woman. Which of course I do, naturally, but my mind is constantly telling me I'd be happier with man. It's so confusing. I will try to approach my relationship in a way that is not reassurance seeking.

@DreamEvolution that’s the deal! easier said than done obviously but understanding is a crucial opening scene to healing this madness. do you also struggle with ROCD too? that also has made it hard for me

@ocdin2ascension It's always easier said than done but I find understanding more about the illness is far more productive than googling symptoms or reading articles which is how I used to spend a lot of my time. I do also struggle with ROCD, my obsessions fluctuate between the two themes constantly. My girlfriend is very understanding and always tells me we will get through this together. I have had relationship doubts in the past, and even have considered leaving her, but I don't want to leave her, I want to make it work and be a better lover. My ROCD is constantly reminding me of all the old resentments I've had over the years towards her even though I actively want to let them go and just be in the moment and enjoy our time together. OCD gets in the way of that unfortunately. I do find just talking about any old thing helps get me out of my head and into the present moment.

@DreamEvolution i appreciate that storyline and ur coping. i recently just lost a relationship to relationship anxiety that i didn’t realize was ROCD until after the fact and am now trying to make amends, so i’m grateful for your sake that you are able to name these issues while in relationship and work to make it better. i’m also thrilled ur partner is down to work thru this with you. altho reassurance doesn’t always help, there’re certain things other less obsessed regions of the brain know to be true, and it seems like the high quality nature of this relationship is indeed true. i hope remembering that can help when ur feeling pressured or resentful or however blocked.

@ocdin2ascension I'm sorry you lost your relationship due to the anxiety. That sounds tough. thank you for your kind words and advice, I wish you the best with your future relationships and recovery. Take care!