I’m so scared I’ve been dealing with hocd since I was 12 I’m 18 now why haven’t I figured out my sexuality:( I don’t want to kiss a girl, I don’t want to be with a girl. The thought makes me so sad cause with all I am I don’t wanna be a lesbian. I want to want guys. I want to have feelings for guys and fall in love with them. I’ve done that for one guy. I want that so badly. God, please. Just make this stop. (I have nothing against gay people, there is nothing wrong with it. I Just don’t want it)

Yes I’ve gone through that a lot. Was just triggered by memories. I want to be with the guy of my dreams so much, but I’m scared that’s a girl. And it just doesn’t feel right. There is NOTHING wrong with being gay. I don’t even think it’s something big. Half my girl best friends are bi and one has liked me and I was so anxious and uncomfortable. Now that I know she stopped her advancements I’m much more comfortable. Idc if two girls are kissing or two boys, doesn’t matter to me. I just don’t want to kiss another girl and I don’t want to want it (if that makes sense).

@hate_ocd.123 And that my friend is pure HOCD. I don’t want to be gay because it doesn’t feel right by me and it makes me anxious and uncomfortable.

With ocd?

If so then yes

I feel like this sounds like denial

Why??

@lypc I just feel like I’m going crazy. Why have I been obsessing about this for so long? I could only enjoy crushes on boys for like 5 months before this hit. I hate this so much

@lypc No I’ve never tried erp or anything like that

The thing is it wouldn’t be a big deal. But I’m terrified I do because I don’t want that. I’m scared I am. I have the freedom of choice, and I would never chose to be with a female. But I’m scared I’m repressing it. Idek I’m just so confused with everything

And did you go through it as long as I have? Literally it’s been six years on and off and it’s hell

@hate_ocd.123 Did you see the comments on your posts that I made

@Joo K Yup I did :)

@hate_ocd.123 OCD makes you doubt EVERYTHING! Your fear that you’re repressing your true feelings is what’s making you so anxious! You say it wouldn’t be a big deal, then why are you scared? The fear is what is fueling the OCD.

@RP I’m scared because I don’t want it:( And is me fearing repressing my true feelings mean I am repressing my true feelings?!?!?!?

@hate_ocd.123 As I said before - your fear is what is fueling all of the panic and anxiety! Accepting uncertainty is what makes the thoughts feel less scary. The exact same thing happened to me when I was going through this. I was so scared that it MIGHT be true, instead of thinking ‘you know what if I am a lesbian, so be it.’ You mentioned it wouldn’t be a big deal if you were, you just don’t WANT to be and you’re scared your repressing true feelings. So just say out loud, maybe I am repressing my true feelings - will be hard at first but that is an ERP What would happen if those feelings did show? Not saying they are, you just need to think - nothing is certain so maybe it is true! Also the Instagram account @ocdrecoveryuk is a GREAT OCD account! HOCD is covered a lot!

@lypc So sorry! Totally forgot everyone else in the comment thread gets notifications as well! Hang in there y’all! 🙏🏻💙

@RP It’s kind of hard for me when I get memories, false attractions, and groinal responses

@lypc Yes, I had that theme a long time ago!

@lypc Yes. I would recommend getting an OCD specialist who practices ERP. It truly does work.

Yup and yup and yup. However there were times it wasn’t even in my mind. The last time it was like that i was 15 than relapsed rlly badly like now But yes everytime it comes back, it comes back worse

@hate_ocd.123 same. but ever since my last relapse, it’s always been in the back of my mind. do you think that’s normal?

@missbluesky First off I’m just gonna say asking if things are ‘normal’ or not is 100% reassurance and it’ll get you nowhere lol. Whatever answer I give you, OCD will then question that. OCD wants 100% certainty, but in reality no one can be 100% certain about anything. You’ll always be doubting hence why it’s called the doubting disease. Looking for someone else who has the ‘same’ symptoms as you is again, only reassuring yourself. The thing here I imagine is you’re afraid of something. The fear is what is fueling the OCD. Accepting the uncertainty and bringing the anxiety along for the ride is the key to not have such an emotional response to the thoughts. Why is it a big deal if those thoughts are in the back of your mind? Definitely easier said than done, but then your brain starts to learn there is nothing to be afraid of and the intrusiveness of the thoughts become less and less. I would also recommend looking into getting an ERP specialist who understands OCD.

@RP i understand. I have a question that no one will answer straight; can I have HOCD and be end up being gay or bisexual?