I’m not sure what to do anymore, sometimes I feel like I want to live in a bubble and never leave.I keep getting death thoughts and intrusive thoughts. Like I wish I was adopted so then I wouldn’t care about my family members dying and if I had no one I would feel less stressed. I don’t even want to have kids (I’m only 17) because I’m scared they will die. I wanted a cat in the past but not anymore because I will have to deal with it dying and I don’t want to have to deal with that. Yesterday I was going through it, thinking a lot about things related to death and then I saw a YouTube titled - he died . I clicked on it even though everything told me not to and it just triggered me even more. I literally couldn’t turn away and watched the girl crying and explaining what happened and the anxiety just increased inside of me. I honestly feel like I’m slowly going insane waiting for everyone to die around me and me to die as well. Sometimes I’m excited to be 18 but then I just think your getting older which means your closer to death. When I got these exact thoughts when i was younger I could calm my self down because I was pretty young but now I’m getting older and older it’s harder. I honestly feel like crying. Also the thoughts are mainly what is going to kill my family and me etc and my family is kinda sick atm a lot of different conditions

Teee123

Date posted: 4y

I have the same feeling, wanting to live in a bubble forever because real life and real things and real people and real emotions scare me. I have intrusive thoughts about death too, my family dying and myself, its a constant thing scenes in my head replaying over and over, so many different scenarios so many ways they could die. And I feel responsible, I think of ways I could prevent those deaths which are not even happening. Its honestly exhausting. You are not alone, you are not the only one, you are not crazy. Keep breathing. Remind yourself that these are only thoughts, they're not reality, just because you think it, doesn't make it real and doesn't mean it's going to happen and remind yourself that death is something that's out of your control and that's okay, noone knows when they're going to die or at what age or exactly how - - it's all so scary but it's okay you have to believe it'll be okay. Maybe try to talk to your family so you can get the right help you need.

Anonanxiety

Date posted: 4y

It’s so annoying because I want to be out there living and enjoying but I just feel really sad. Sometimes I’m fine but then it just hits me again. Like I can feel it ready to attack. Sometimes I can defend it and breathe other times I can’t and it sucks me in. I keep doing compulsions because I feel like if I stop and something bad happens I could have prevented it. One of them is checking my family members are breathing to give me relief at night time. And I can’t stop myself because what if they do stop breathing I could have helped them :(

Anonanxiety

Date posted: 4y

@Anonanxiety I know I can get through this but being at home just makes it worse and it’s so dull and dreary it makes it worse.

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