Argh! two full days of non stop overthinking a decision. back and forth, pros and cons, do it, don't do it. you'll regret it if you do. you'll regret it if you don't. I cannot make up my mind. I have to be 100% certain that if I do it I won't regret it because there is no undoing it. once its done its done for good.

From a practical perspective have you written down the pros and cons so you can visually compare? Also because studies show getting out the thoughts on paper removes the thoughts from our brains so it's easier to think things through. A few years ago I had to make a choice on a career path between two fields I loved very much. What helped me was thinking about all the jobs I had before, and writing down what I liked about them. Even the jobs I didn't like had some elements I enjoyed. That helped me decide on the career path. I'm about 6 years removed from that decison, and I think i chose a great path but the other path would have also been fun but with its own challenges. What I learned is we can all be multiple things at once, there isn't always a blatantly obvious right or wrong decision. So when things are not obviously right or wrong, it means neither decision is going to be incorrect. This is challenging but also liberating. From an ocd perspective, the demand you are placing on yourself to make the correct, or PERFECT, decision is an intrusive thought. Since nothing in life is guaranteed, you have no way of knowing that either decision is going to be 100 percent correct. Since it's OCD you will want to embrace the uncertainty and move forward knowing that you will never know the outcome of the one you didn't choose, so the decision you make can't be wrong. Since you have to make a decision on this, take a few deep breaths and make a decision based on what makes you happy and what brings you the most peace of mind. You have to decide, and there is no reason to have doubt in yourself. You are stronger than you think, and you are able to make this decision confidently because you know who you are and what you want and need. So breathe, stand tall with your shoulders back, decide on one, and know that not knowing the outcome has its own joy because life would be uninspiring if we could predict and control everything. And it will be uncomfortable but that is the process you go through to get to the other side.

hi aldear06. thank you. what you said makes total sense and I started to do this. I watched Dr Jonathan Grayson on YouTube talk about uncertainty and it being the core of everything that is OCD. to develop skills to overcome OCD it has to center on embracing uncertainty. you are spot on! but there's a but that complicates it a bit. I have complex PTSD. my primary fear is how I will react should I go through with this medical surgery and freak out that I made the wrong choice and suffer more trauma. the surgery makes complete sense. better quality of life, THE BEST surgeon for this procedure in the world. extremely low risk and extremely high patient satisfaction. what's happening right now is that I'm hyperfocusing on the potential ill freak out instead of the benefits of getting it done. nonetheless, it still comes back to what you said, accepting uncertainty. I really appreciate your comment

that is precisely the truth. my OCD is trying to run the show and it has a tool in its arsenal - my PTSD bypervihilance. I find peace and determination when watching you tube patient testimonials of how much better their life is! I watch the few expert drs that talk about the profound transformational change in patients mental state. I just got done with a run and the entire run I imagined how great it will be when its over. thank u so much.