I’m feeling kind of hopeless. I don’t really think there’s an ERP that can help with my situation. I want to get better but I’m unsure how to get better. Because of this it makes it really hard for me to go to sleep and get off my bed to do anything anymore. I feel like the only thing I can do is take my medication and just do meditation and that’s about it. Nothing really else I can do.

I have done ERP.

@Issac11_fitforlife My question would be then for how long? Under what conditions? Do you use it regularly, or did you start and stop? What other compulsive behaviors are you doing in life? Are you engaging in avoidance? Are you exercising? Socializing? There’s a lot that goes into living a lifestyle of recovery.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett I was guided by therapist’s but unfortunately for each theme the ERP becomes a compulsion. I have HOCD and then I have Weird thoughts surrounding women which makes it uncomfortable to where I have to do ERP for that too. Each ERP nullifies each other unfortunately.

@Issac11_fitforlife Then I’d say that you weren’t doing ERP as much as you were doing compulsions.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Well unfortunately that’s how my therapist wanted it to be. She was hoping it would get me the anxiety I needed if I fucked up but it just fucked up my thoughts with women and ever since then I’ve been messed up with having to deal with weird shit that pops up for women to where the HOCD goes away but then comes back cuz I get weird thoughts that pop up with women all because I fucked up my ERP smh. Now because of it it makes it hard to want to get out of my bed and do anything now after going 2 yrs basically with therapy. I basically need a higher level of care but I have my doubts cuz each theme is its own compulsion and only time will tell. The only thing I can do now is meditate and go about my day seeing each theme and be depressed and sad cuz of how I messed myself up. I’m unsure what is a compulsion and what’s not a compulsion anymore.

@Issac11_fitforlife I think it would make sense to reach out to a professional, perhaps NOCD, and start again. If you hurt your back exercising once, would that mean you never try to exercise again? You know what you’re doing now isn’t working, why not try again?

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Well me trying again would have to be away from my home environment to where I can really focus and not be triggered from outside sources till I’m ready to be triggered by outside sources. Cuz I would have put in the work to handle it better. But unfortunately I can’t go to a residential OCD facility till January when the insurance will kick in. I can’t do therapy like I would with getting fit again. I can’t just jump back in by going to the gym with therapy I have to wait til a therapist has time for me and be patient. So like I said until I can get out the environment I’m in to actually do something about my OCD I can only meditate and go about my day feeling what I’m feeling.

@Issac11_fitforlife NOCD is available if you’re in the states. I’d encourage you to not wait until the conditions are “right” to begin treatment. If we wait for that we tend to be waiting to quite a long time. When will you be ready to be triggered by outside sources?

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett I’m triggered through out my day. I can unfortunately feel an arousal feeling from people looking at me or in my vicinity from pretty far away. So I’m constantly triggered at home by neighbors including my own mother. I don’t know why this is but it’s the truth. I Have a constant arousal that gets triggered when someone is purposely looking at me sexually. Look I’ve been over the symptoms with my therapist and she’s respected by NOCD nothing I do ever completely makes me whole and it’s just been so debilitating to where she thinks I need a higher level of care but like I said I can’t go to a higher level of care til January so no point now in doing anything until January other than meditating, taking my medication, and going about my day as if I don’t have OCD does it go away no will it ever time will tell. So do I go through spells of depression yes cuz I’m unsure of what therapy to do and my therapist who like I said is respected by NOCD doesn’t know either.