I'm struggling really bad with ocd that people don't like me or want to get rid of me. Im not working right now because I just got out of mental hospital and then from there I had to go to a hospital for an allergic reaction I had to one of the psych medications I was given (Trileptal). Then not only that but I can't work right now because I told my parents on my POCD. And other forms of OCD and they're sending me off to California where they will accept my insurance and they will give me the treatment I need for my OCD. I liked this place in Houston, but it was $7000 a week and $28000 for 4 week treatment due to them not accepting insurance. Which I'm not rich so I'm grateful California is going to be able to help me. I'm just nervous on coming back because I'm going to have to find a new job and a job where I like what I do for a living, because I didn't like my job before and it made me more depressed. I hate myself sometimes because I feel I'm always having to include myself and always try to fit in with others. And not only that but my family says I can't be around them until I get the help I need which I am and I have to work hard everyday on not relapsing with anxiety and depression and self isolating like I did before. I'm also finally making freinds and about to hang out with some girls I went to rehab with but I don't know if I can trust them due to me being burnt by so many other freindships or left behind. I also struggle alot with co dependency and abandonment issues due to my mom leaving me while being an addict. But she's been recovered for about 5 years and I feel like I try to depend on her sometimes due to that little teenage girl that stayed frozen in time but she's recovered and moving on in her life and I need to do the same as an adult. Also I did nursing for 2 years and even took a couple of college credit classes but didn't complete the ones having to do with nursing. Anyways I also realised I dont want to persue nursing anymore especially since there are so many other job options in the Dallas metropolitan area. But I like talking to others and helping them since I'm an empath and it gets me outside of myself. So I think I want to go back to school to finish my basics and maybe be a counselor and help others that struggle like me.