So I’m new to this ocd stuff and I feel so alone and like a bad crazy person. I live in constant fear that I’m gonna end up doing something bad when I don’t want to. How do I stop this vicious cycle, my head aches from all the stress and I’m so tired physically and mentally. I just don’t wanna do anything bad I would hate to do that. Pls help me out idk what to do my life is sucking rn and I just want it to get better. I’m nervous around my family and knifes and I can’t enjoy my time with them and it’s pissing me off. Only time these thoughts are gone is when I’m sleeping. Pls pls help me :(

I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m failing school because all I have on my mind is ocd and ocd thoughts. I’ll I think is “what If I’m a murderer” “what If I hurt someone” “no no no I don’t wanna do those things I really don’t”. I feel like it’s getting worse I can’t focus on school anymore and I’m gonna fail this quarter. I wake up and I just wanna sleep because I keep having these thoughts, I’ve been getting nightmares too and I just feel so hopeless and I’m always so anxious about being a bad person. Please help me out here

if any responds to this, it would save my night. Just knowing there is someone there who understands. This past week my ocd has been worse than usually. My harm ocd is so terrible, violent thoughts and images fill my head and I can’t make it stop and the thoughts constantly are centered toward my family members. It’s so terrible I just feel like crying and I’m so heavy and empty inside. Does anyone else understand? Know what it’s like. All this fear and doubt. Are these my own thoughts? Why am I having these? Am I a psychopath? Do I want to do these things? And so on. I just want to scream. I’m so so scared and I feel sick to my stomach and I don’t want to be anywhere near my family right now. Help me please

Sorry this is long I don’t know where to begin but, at the beginning of the year I went through something that was hard. And I was so mad at God bc I was so hurt and I felt like I was in so much pain and I was so alone. And I remember I had some bad thoughts. I don’t remember these thoughts exactly but lietrally months later I was sitting down all normal and dealing with other forms of OCD that were so painful, but less painful than this. Anyways so then since then I have been stressing that I might have acted of these thoughts. I don’t have a memory but my brain keeps telling me I did that. Anyways I have been having intrusive thoughts since and it hurts so much. It hurts so bad and I can’t do this anymore. I don’t wanna do this anymore. I keep having these thoughts and it makes me stress so much and want to throw up. It makes me hurt myself. I have bruises all over my body and I’m just so done with this. And sometimes my brain will bring these memories of these intrusive thoughts into my mind or say my trigger thoughts and it makes me hurt so much. And then I start to go over these thoughts bc I feel so bad and I don’t want to have them. Sometimes when I am stressing about theee things they pass by and it makes me panic so bad. I was lietrally just eating and I was punching my hand so hard while thinking about all the thoughts I have had and the things my OCD had made me believe I did, and while I was doing that a thought came to my mind about what my OCD keeps telling me I did and I panicked so hard. I had to eat so fast just so I can lock myself up in my room. I didnt want to have the thought. I think I was just lost in listening to my OCD and then I started talking to myself about what I think I did and when I had the thought I was punching my self so hard that I didn’t even have time to shake it off straight away. I have this conclusion where whenever I have a bad thought I write it down bc my brain tells me that I’m a bad person and I should forget about these thoughts so I grabbed my phone as soon as the panic set in. Sometimes I question whether I had those thoughts intentionally or if i forget them and then I remember the wrong thing and it makes me feel even worse. My brain tells me that if I don’t panic staright away and hurt myself then it means that I mean the thought. I’m in so much pain. I’m really don’t want to think about it but it happens and it feel so real and that it comes from me and that I did something bad. I know this makes no sense but I don’t want to be like this. I go to bed most nights hoping I never wake up. I really don’t mean theee thoughts, sometimes they come when u I’m justify thinking about all the bad things my OCD has made me believe I did and then I panic over remberinf these things. What if im thinking this on purpose? What if the thought I had is so much worse? What if God will never forgive me? I don’t want to live anymore I hate my life and im never going to get out of this. I was just trying to have a normal dinner but my mind never stops. Whether it’s me imaegnitn things or thinking about my thoughts and going over them, I feel so guilty. I can’t even get any help bc I can’t afford it. No one knows I go through this. Ok all alone. Im all alone .