darneilious

Date posted: 4y

So I’m new to this ocd stuff and I feel so alone and like a bad crazy person. I live in constant fear that I’m gonna end up doing something bad when I don’t want to. How do I stop this vicious cycle, my head aches from all the stress and I’m so tired physically and mentally. I just don’t wanna do anything bad I would hate to do that. Pls help me out idk what to do my life is sucking rn and I just want it to get better. I’m nervous around my family and knifes and I can’t enjoy my time with them and it’s pissing me off. Only time these thoughts are gone is when I’m sleeping. Pls pls help me :(

Clouds

Date posted: 4y

ERP and Medications (SSRI) work!! Really helped me

darneilious

Date posted: 4y

How do I do erp?

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@darneilious You start by experiencing or directly exposing yourself to something that would trigger you, but the therapy is that you have to sit with it, no matter how uncomfortable. This can be used to train your brain and train your reactions to the thoughts, because OCD sufferers cannot control how they react to their thoughts, but can train themselves

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@Ecuadorre Then like document how you were feeling or how you felt etc. I reccomend the ERP feature on here, just click the tools option :)

darneilious

Date posted: 4y

@Ecuadorre Thank you!

JohnnyisMe

Date posted: 4y

Give it time, I had OCD thoughts on almost any fear you can think of, couldn’t look at people or be around my family. Pacing back and forth, shivering, looking online for reassurance, nightmares, Sexuality, etc.... overall thought I was a bad guy. It is because you fear these things that make you a good person. My episode lasted for months, now it’s at a manageable level but still seeking therapy so I can maintain that and how to handle it if another one occurs. For me, an episode started with a stressful event. Prozac, Time, and family helped me.

darneilious

Date posted: 4y

It’s just so hard, it’s everyday every minute I never have a break and it sucks so much I just want it to end so bad it’s like having a backpack full of rocks on

Peace:)joy27

Date posted: 4y

Don’t feel alone, I’ve been going through almost the same thing. Hang in there. Everything is going to be okay.

Peace:)joy27

Date posted: 4y

@darneiliois try to stay away from scary movies, or anything that might cause you distress. It takes times but eventually your brain will get fed up and it will fade away. It’s important that you keep yourself busy and don’t try to avoid your family. Be around your family and spend time with them. This will prove your OCD thoughts even more incorrects than they already are. Not sure what your beliefs are. However, praying and reading scriptures from the Bible also help. The Bible speaks a lot on thoughts and the mind. Listening to motivational speakers such as Joyce Meyers also help because she talks a lot on similar things like these.

darneilious

Date posted: 4y

I really hope it passes I’m not a bad person at all :(

Peace:)joy27

Date posted: 4y

@darneilious I know your not a bad person. OCD tries to make you believe that. I’ve dealt with scary thoughts like what your having when i was a kid. It passed and sort of came back 10 years later and I’m dealing with it again now. Only this time I’m much older and know how to handle it better than when I was a kid. I know it will pass again eventually, it’s just running its course. Hanging around my family and communicating with them helps to take my mind off of the untrue ocd thoughts. Remember that you are not your thoughts.

Peace:)joy27

Date posted: 4y

@darneilious I think you should go on YouTube and listen to Joyce Meyers: moving beyond worry and anxiety. She has a lot more videos but check that one first

darneilious

Date posted: 4y

@Sunflower2456 Okay I’ll check her out

Clouds

Date posted: 4y

This APP (NOCD) can set you up with a therapist to guide you. Honestly...for me...SSRIs and ERP were the treatment that worked best.

darneilious

Date posted: 4y

But I’m young and don’t have insurance:(

JohnnyisMe

Date posted: 4y

I agree it is hard. I don’t wish it on anyone, feels like the mind is trapped and slowly torturing you. I thought I was going crazy, I admitted myself voluntarily to get help, Doctors diagnosed me with either ADHD or Bipolar Never OCD. They all share similarities in symptoms but you can tell them apart if you know yourself and your past. Finally I did have OCD in the end. I put away knifes too btw. And couldn’t hold tools of fear that I would hurt someone My OCD episode started after I watched a horrible movie. Went into shock/panic mode then it started

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Mine started when I was watching YouTube videos and I delved waaaaay too deep into those awful crime reports and scary stories.. been staying away from that for a while

JohnnyisMe

Date posted: 4y

@Ecuadorre How long has it been going on? Mine lasted for over 3 months I think. It can vary per person though. Your solution is Time trust me. You slowly start to feel back to normal. But yeah stay away from the news, porn, and PG-13 and up films. Working out keeps the mind busy. And don’t smoke any marijuana as that can make you have another episode if you’re already in a shocked state.

JohnnyisMe

Date posted: 4y

@Ecuadorre Sorry thought you were the other user, but this response can work for you too lol

JohnnyisMe

Date posted: 4y

When did yours start? How long has it been going on? Anything stressful that happened at that time?

darneilious

Date posted: 4y

Mine started when I thought I was having a heart attack, very stressful event

JohnnyisMe

Date posted: 4y

@darneilious Yeah I used to dab wax, and thought it got soaked with chlorine and when I smoked it I thought I was going to die. Ambulances came, it was embarrassing to say the least.....

darneilious

Date posted: 4y

@JohnnyisMe Yep very embarrassing. When the doctor told me that I was perfectly healthy I was really embarrassed. In the past I had sexual orientation ocd

JohnnyisMe

Date posted: 4y

@darneilious How long since then? Your episode might be coming to an end if it’s been 3 months but again it varies per person. The brain has a way of resetting itself at 3 months, creates newer pathways and brings in newer information

darneilious

Date posted: 4y

@JohnnyisMe It’s been like 6 months, it was that then Schizo ocd health ocd now this

JohnnyisMe

Date posted: 4y

@darneilious Give it more time. Prozac helped with the intrusive never ending thoughts. Also fear is the core to OCD. I know the right solution would be to avoid these things but you need to be strong and face them. This is why Exposure and response therapy is there, to get you so tired and bored of the ideas that they won’t even affect you anymore.

darneilious

Date posted: 4y

@JohnnyisMe I’m so scared to face them :(

JohnnyisMe

Date posted: 4y

@darneilious I know and understand you but that’s the most effective therapy out there. Unless you can train your brain by yourself which I did. Try this method: Don’t resist the ideas, resisting them only causes worry then it turns into a never ending cycle. Try accepting the possibility but at the end of the day you know who you are. For example If you have Sexuality orientation OCD then tell yourself “Ok I’m gay” or with Harm OCD try “Ok I’m a bad person” accept them and don’t fight them. Then the thoughts usually go away

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 24w

Self pleasure and intrusive thoughts :/

I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh

POCD

frannyb

Date posted: 19w

I can't do this anymore

I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.

Uhhhh15

Date posted: 14w

I feel gross

I shouldn’t have done this (trigger trigger trigger!!) So about a month ago..maybe I watched this video (as a compulsion to prove to myself) The video was called “interview with a p3d0” And basically it was what it says, I watched or more like listened to half of it…after I was disgusted by the person, but now all I can think of is every little thing I do, I feel as if tho I’m monitoring every thought/moment and feeling I have it’s torturous and I hate it..I feel disgusting, the person in the video has empathy and sympathy and had those feelings yk, I can’t explain it you’d have to watch the video yourself but please don’t it will ruin your journey…I feel more hopeless then before, my OCD is telling me so many things trying to convince me things that Ik aren’t true, I’m just really scared I don’t want to be that person I want to be a good cousin and person to my family, I’m sick of my head and myself, I’m so tired that sometimes I can’t even think straight, my head is always in pain and idek how to help myself..compulsions have been becoming more and more exhausting… I need advice or even someone to relate to, I understand I shouldn’t have done what I did but idk how to forget it.. I had made this post already but when someone replied I couldn’t see it for some reason so I’m uploading it again

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