I feel like I won't be able to make any progress bc I live with people who don't respect my rules. I worry about how clean surfaces are but the people I live with ignore me when I ask that certain things don't touch each other. For example, if something touches the floor I can't touch it or anything else it has touched. This causes a problem bc even if I could disinfect the object and surface it has touched I can't force someone to wash their hands and constantly watch over them to make sure they are what I determine to be clean. Their hands which I think are dirty touch other surfaces some of which I can't clean to my standard and only continue to ruin all the work I spent making something sanitary.

So Im staying at my uncles house until Saturday or Sunday and I feel like I’m filthy and making his house infected and idk what to do so when I first got here his house had grass I walked through to get to the door so I made sure to wipe my feet at the door and leave my shoes close to the door but I still feel,like I’m infecting his house he gave me and my little brother a room to sleep in and the first think I think of is how I need to wash the sheets when I leave. The first day was hard because I couldn’t shower and I felt so dirty because we had to go on a walk and I was sweating and we also had to water the grass outside and I had the same socks on as I did yesterday and I just felt like they were filthy and I was walking with those socks around the house so now his carpet is filthy and the bed I was laying in is now filthy. And I couldn’t shower because I didn’t have any cleaning supplies to clean it after I was done because I didn’t want to wash in their shower and now clean it afterwards. But I got someone at the store and took a shower and changed clothes and I felt weird about where to put my dirty clothes I hung them on the shower curtain rod but I feel like I just infected the rod. And afterwards I tried to spray off the shower with some Clorox foam cleaner but I feel like I didn’t clean it good and even feel bad about cleaning it because I was afraid the chemicals I tried rinsing off the shower and the bottles I was using in the shower but still feel like it’s infected. And don’t get me started on how I feel about the bags I’m keeping my clean clothes in and also the other bag I’m keeping my dirty clothes the bags are laying on the floor and I feel like my clean clothes are getting dirty from the floor and my dirty clothes are dirtying the floor and the towel I was using I used to dry the bathroom floor and asked where to put my towel he said on the dryer but there was stuff on it so I put it on a box above the dryer but I feel like I just infected everything and also Ik he touched the towel WHST if he gets THISE germs on his kids . Also the covers me and my little brother were using fell on the ground and his kids were playing in them and stuff like that but my little brother said it was fine and still used them but idk and his cover he brought touched my dirty clothes and the floor and he still used them and I just feel kinda ill about that. And today me feeling filthy just multiplied because I can’t SHOWER again today because someone’s toys are in the shower and idk how to get clean becuase we leave soon and idk what to do do I just change clothes? Idk about wipes because I can’t just ask for baby wipes and now I’m walking around with no socks because I only brought one pair and my others ones were put in my dirty clothes bag and now I have to go places no socks just in my flip flops. And last night I went to the restroom because I didn’t want to have an accident in the night because I’m always anxious about that stuff and I went but I feel like I just infected their toilet and I washed my hands after but I went back into bed but my feet touched the bathroom floor so now the bed is hay I feel actually infected and since I’m laying in it I’m infected too. Idk why I woke up so depressed and feel so filthy and guilty idk if it was the pose I was sleeping in or if I think I had an accident idk but we a lot of places to go today and idk what to do I was going to get Lysol at the store today to spray stuff but I don’t think I can get everything and I feel so sick he has kids what if I give them bad germs I can’t live with that

So Im staying at my uncles house until Saturday or Sunday and I feel like I’m filthy and making his house infected and idk what to do so when I first got here his house had grass I walked through to get to the door so I made sure to wipe my feet at the door and leave my shoes close to the door but I still feel,like I’m infecting his house he gave me and my little brother a room to sleep in and the first think I think of is how I need to wash the sheets when I leave. The first day was hard because I couldn’t shower and I felt so dirty because we had to go on a walk and I was sweating and we also had to water the grass outside and I had the same socks on as I did yesterday and I just felt like they were filthy and I was walking with those socks around the house so now his carpet is filthy and the bed I was laying in is now filthy. And I couldn’t shower because I didn’t have any cleaning supplies to clean it after I was done because I didn’t want to wash in their shower and now clean it afterwards. But I got someone at the store and took a shower and changed clothes and I felt weird about where to put my dirty clothes I hung them on the shower curtain rod but I feel like I just infected the rod. And afterwards I tried to spray off the shower with some Clorox foam cleaner but I feel like I didn’t clean it good and even feel bad about cleaning it because I was afraid the chemicals I tried rinsing off the shower and the bottles I was using in the shower but still feel like it’s infected. And don’t get me started on how I feel about the bags I’m keeping my clean clothes in and also the other bag I’m keeping my dirty clothes the bags are laying on the floor and I feel like my clean clothes are getting dirty from the floor and my dirty clothes are dirtying the floor and the towel I was using I used to dry the bathroom floor and asked where to put my towel he said on the dryer but there was stuff on it so I put it on a box above the dryer but I feel like I just infected everything and also Ik he touched the towel WHST if he gets THISE germs on his kids . Also the covers me and my little brother were using fell on the ground and his kids were playing in them and stuff like that but my little brother said it was fine and still used them but idk and his cover he brought touched my dirty clothes and the floor and he still used them and I just feel kinda ill about that. And today me feeling filthy just multiplied because I can’t SHOWER again today because someone’s toys are in the shower and idk how to get clean becuase we leave soon and idk what to do do I just change clothes? Idk about wipes because I can’t just ask for baby wipes and now I’m walking around with no socks because I only brought one pair and my others ones were put in my dirty clothes bag and now I have to go places no socks just in my flip flops. And last night I went to the restroom because I didn’t want to have an accident in the night because I’m always anxious about that stuff and I went but I feel like I just infected their toilet and I washed my hands after but I went back into bed but my feet touched the bathroom floor so now the bed is hay I feel actually infected and since I’m laying in it I’m infected too. Idk why I woke up so depressed and feel so filthy and guilty idk if it was the pose I was sleeping in or if I think I had an accident idk but we a lot of places to go today and idk what to do I was going to get Lysol at the store today to spray stuff but I don’t think I can get everything and I feel so sick he has kids what if I give them bad germs I can’t live with that

sorry if im putting to much detail in here I can take it down if it is too much and makes people uncomfy. Last night was watching some ex*pl*cit content while lying on the rug in the room in my house I spend most of my time and where my family usually goes into and it caused a physical reaction. I went to the bathroom to clean up and then sprayed the shower done and put bleach on the floor but I wiped the floor with a towel to kinda clean it but idk if I put enough bleach to clean it and if I got it in the areas that mattered and I sprayed Lysol on the bathroom counter to make sure no germs of my earlier reaction got any where but I ran out of Lysol after spraying everything but I made sure to spray the rug with some Lysol before I ran out but idk if I got everything I mean I focused on the rug but I didn’t spray all of it and I didn’t spray all the stuff that was in the room. And to make things worse after my reaction earlier I put my devices and charger on the floor of my room before washing my hands or my devices so I had to clean the floor in my room I used bleach but I didn’t put it everywhere on the floor which makes me anxious and idk if I cleaned my devices or charger well enough and I’m scared they are still infected. But back to the rug i sprayed it down with odoban it says disinfectant on it but I think it’s only for hard surfaces it disinfects but I still sprayed it around on the rug but I don’t know if it actually disinfected anything. And of course to make matters worse my baby cousins toys were in the room so I sprayed them with what little Lysol I had left but idk if I cleaned it well enough but I already put them with their other toys so idk what to do. After I thought I cleaned everything I put my devices on my mattress I don’t have my blankets on my mattress yet cause I washed them like a week or 2 ago and they are just laying on my bed but not put on my mattress so I’m scared my mattress if infected since I’m laying on my mattress with my feet on my chair and my devices are on my mattress. And idk I don’t want people getting those bad germs in them and I,worry about this a lot and Ik a lot of people will say that it isn’t that huge of a deal and I want to,believe them and it helps but my mind is always telling me that even if that’s true I have a responsibility to make sure everything is clean so people don’t get hurt and it doesn’t help that I’ve been so,itchy and idk why and my little brother is also itchy idk if it’s because I don’t clean well enough and it’s my germs or not but I’m tired do I need,to clean my mattress and covers again and reclean the rug I think I do but I’m trying to go against that thinking but it’s hard because I feel like a bad persons. And today I’m scared to leave my room i feel like I’m filthy and that the rug in the other room is contaminated and it doesn’t help I need to go to the doctor today when I’m feeling like anyone I’m around im infecting