I’ve been compulsively masturbating to women for 5-6 years. My HOCD is making me think that I’ve been repressing my gayness by masturbating to only women, and lesbian porn. I would masturbate two to three times a day before this HOCD started.

I only want to be straight. I only want to be with women. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual. But it’s like my HOCD makes me think that I’ve been covering up my gayness by masturbsting to women compulsively. I hate this man. I just want to stay straight I’ve had multiple crushes on women, and yet my HOCD continues to fuck with me. Do you think I’m gay or bisexual? Because I know I don’t want to be gay or bisexual

Please don’t tell me I’m gay or bisexual. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual. Please

Please man I need your help. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual but my HOCD makes me think I’m gay because I masturbate to women in order to “hide my gayness” do you think it’s true? Please help me

@SOOCD I've heard that people that have gone through many compulsions or addictions through things aren't themselves or go far from their motives from what they do, including myself. With my porn addiction, I found myself actually being bored of what I thought was heaven the first time I've experienced it. Then the videos I've watched got more diverse, out of my comfort zone, and more extreme. I don't think you're gay though. I just think your compulsions are getting in the way of how you usually go about yourself. Seriously though, I recommend you stop watching porn because it isn't making you feel better by any means. It fucking sucks that anyone has to deal with POCD or HOCD.

@SOOCD Take a deep breath. You're panicking right now. You need to calm down and you can't rely on the reassurance I give you. It's not right for you. You know that you aren't gay and you know yourself better than anyone else.

@BigGip09 Sorry man. After what people were saying about how compulsive porn corrupts people, I was getting impressions that people were calling me gay and using porn to cover it up. Sorry I got it confused

@SOOCD Pornography addictions are like any other addictions: They mess with the brain and the dopamine levels are out of control. You have to give yourself a reboot.

@BigGip09 So do you think I’m gay or bisexual truly? Because it feels like when people tell me pornography addiction is very troubling, I get Impressions that people think I’m gay or bisexual and using lesbian porn to cover it up

@SOOCD I don't know you at all but I don't think you're gay because you try really hard to not be a homosexual.

@BigGip09 But don’t people in denial try to do that as well?

@SOOCD You do realize that your heavy amount of questioning is also a big part of the OCD right? You're too afraid of being uncertain about things. And that's okay, because I am too. Uncertainty is something we HATE as people on this app.

@BigGip09 I honestly don’t want to be gay or bisexual at all. My HOCD makes it feel like im slowly turning gay or bisexual, or that I’ve been gay or bisexual in denial this entire time and I just hadn’t realized it. It’s god awful. With this new thing about my porn, I don’t want it to be the case. I’ve had crushes on multiple women and numerous women.

@SOOCD Give yourself a break.

@BigGip09 I don’t know how to. I tried to accept the uncertainty and accept and agree with the thoughts. It feels like I’ve turned gay and I hate it.

@SOOCD Try the SOS button on the phone

@BigGip09 You'll find it in the tools section