Honestly I’m lost for words. All people can tell me is I’m doing it wrong and yet no one not even my previous therapist’s can tell me what to do. So what’s the point of waking up and doing anything at all? If I stop it gets worse if do something I still don’t get better. Smh. I want to get better I want to feel normal again. Do I know how no. Did my therapist know how obviously not cuz I’m not right still after 2 years. Like my goal is to get better. I want to get better. I try to take steps in getting better but yet I’m not seeing the results I should be seeing. I’m unsure how to get better anymore. I mean I meditate but yet still find myself searching for answers. I find myself still feeling empty. Like I’m doing my best and yet it’s still not enough anymore. I mean honestly I guess just laying in my bed meditating a couple times a day and not doing anything is my best bet right now. I already know people are going to tell me that I’ll get better and I can’t give up but the only way to get better is by doing the right steps and stop fucking up but my previous therapist did none of that she purposely let me fuck up and now I’m paying for it with no answer on how to get better now. I honestly can’t feel anything right now. If I’m not feeling anything isn’t this where I need help? Like what is therapy for if it isn’t to get me better but to let me fuck up to see if it’ll get me anxiety. Fucking she broke my back and now it’s cricket it ain’t put back together I know when I don’t feel anxiety and when I do but who cares right? She still gets to do therapy and I’m left with a cricket back so to speak smfh.

Then why did that guy say what he said? Why am I not feeling anxious anymore? WHAT THE FUCK

She wanted me to look at pictures of dudes again to raise up my anxiety and I went overboard and did 2 ERP sessions of looking at pictures of naked guys on google for my ERP that had gifs on them of gay ass shit. Like while doing it it made me automatically think of sex with a chick when seeing it and when I did it again at night it was doing it again but after I finished I decided to start thinking about sex with a chick who I could previously think about sex before without no issue at all and as soon as I started too guys were popping up and next thing I knew after that experience I no linger could think about sex with a chick and started to get anxiety for women afterwards not because of the image of a women but because of gross ass shit that pops up instead of a women. Was the ERP my fault yeah but it was her fault in not going over what exact pictures to be looking at for my ERP so it’s her fault too whether she likes it or not cuz that was her time to step up and tell me what exact pictures to look at and then do the therapy. She wanted me to mess up but it’s fucked me ip ever since so that was her mistake too.

@Issac11_fitforlife FFUUUUUUUUCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKJ AAAAAGGHHJJJJJJJJXJDJD

@Issac11_fitforlife okay first of all, you’re so wrong. second of all, where did he say he had inyercourse with a man??? ur taking his experiences and reaching . that’s not okay

@omgcd It involved intercourse but we never finished. Please help me. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual at all. I don’t feel as anxious anymore now that he said that and I feel like this means I’m gay or bisexual. Please oh god I can’t take this anymore.