- Username
- Freemeofocd
- Date posted
- 4y ago
by trying to prevent the thoughts you are increasing the fear and anxiety that comes with them. pushing thoughts away doesnt work for long, cos we always end up thinking about what we don't want to think about. the goal is to let thoughts flow by, without reacting to them or figuring out what they could mean.
I appreciate your response
But why do I feel like I CAN control my thoughts? Like for example I was bathing my daughter and I was attempting* to practice erp. This is one of my triggers. I went to wash her and had the thought like “this is your chance to wash her and get any weird urges out of your system” - normally, If I had this thought I would then avoid washing her. A compulsion. This time,I fought the compulsion and I continued washing her, but then I had more thoughts, that I didn’t try to fight and I continued washing her regardless. Now I feel like the thoughts motivated my actions or influenced them. I feel like I Purposely brought on bad thoughts because I was “taking advantage” of the situation.
People cannot control what thoughts pop into their head. Thinking about killing my grandmother, or my cat, having sex with the baby next door, sinning etc... it can pop into my head anytime. I cant help it. No one can. Feeling guilty for something you cant control seems hard. This reminds me of my obsession about "If I think wrong thoughts I am a bad person". Maybe the idea that you should control your toughts is an obsession?
Sounds like progress to me! Well done for not giving in to your compulsions. 🖖 Figuring out if you control your thoughts, may it be another compulsion?
Part of my OCD is always trying to get into the bottom of things (if I freak out thinking about death or illness or losing someone or contamination, then I will roam all the internet for searching for informations on the subject even though it worsens my anxiety and never leaves me with a "clean" feeling of certainty or peace or acceptance). And recently I realized that if I have an anxious thought that arises in my mind it'll just go away if I leave it be and don't stop what I'm doing. But stupidly enough I feel guilty for doing that because I get the feeling that I should engage more with my fears and if I just ignores them and they go away I'm worsening the situation ... What is the line between ignoring the problem by distracting yourself and simply allowing your mind to move on ?
Does anyone ever experience their mind TELLING them to think about something that you have the capability to obsess over? And I’m able to resist thinking about it, but it’s like there’s a continuous OCD voice in my head saying “think about X.” And sometimes I wonder if I make things worse by not thinking about it, but I also don’t want to listen to OCD’s demands
I find it very difficult to sit with thoughts or just let them be there especially when my OCD is purely based on mental rituals. For example, if I try to let a thought (that is causing me stress) come into my mind it’s almost impossible for me to let it sit there without my brain automatically trying to solve it or gain relief. It’s as though my brain does this without me really realising - probably from years of training it to do this - I’m just wondering if anyone knows of any other things I could try? I think this is why I find ERP quite difficult as I really try to let the thought sit there but my brain automatically tries to solve it no matter how much I’m trying…
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