Why do intrusive thoughts or OCD occur? For instance, I have a girlfriend I have been with for almost two years and I made mistakes that hurt her and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. I’m a good person I believe, but for some reason since I have told her I now overthink sometimes about my sexuality, liking other people, and even thinking mean things to her, even basic feelings for her. I also tell her all of these things because i never want to keep anything from her and have secrets because then i feel guilty. It’s just a never ending cycle of thinking something, telling her, then having the cycle repeat. I just believe everything I think is true and I can’t distinguish my thoughts from reality and what I truly believe. I’ve never had any of these problems before. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her because she is the best woman I have ever met and she is so supportive, loving and makes me happy. It doesn’t get any better than her. I also know i want to be this amazing person for her that’s why i fight this so much. I just want to know the psychological reasoning behind these things because I’ve never had any of these issues ever in my life ever.

Anxiety attacks what makes us most vulnerable. When we have ROCD, we often are obsessing over the intrusive thoughts because we have a hard time deciphering whether or not they are true because their validity matters in the long term of our relationship. It matters whether or not we like our partner right? And if we are looking to be with them for a long time it would matter if we even love them or are atrsacted to them right? But most people don’t spend their days worrying about it. That’s where OCD comes in, it treats the typical intrusive thoughts or anxieties that most everyone gets and amplifies them because you are doing compulsions to eliminate the anxiety and uncertainty of these thoughts. Instead of worrying about if they are true, tell yourself next time that maybe they are true, maybe they aren’t, but just because I entertain my anxiety doesn’t mean that there’s any basis in actual facts that it is true. All you are doing over and over and over again is thinking that through solving your thoughts you are solving the issue. Which then creates a larger problem, now your OCD is fed and strong. That makes the thoughts stronger and the false feelings go crazy. Because you are choosing to no longer accept uncertainty. A thought is a thought, and anxiety is anxiety. Often times you are really just deciding if the thought is a garden hose in the grass.... or a killer snake.... anxiety is 99% wrong. OCD is telling you lies because it is feeding your control complex over your anxiety. You must learn to let go of control and let these thoughts exist without doing anything about it. They are simply thoughts. Ruminating will make this worse, obsessing is not your friend. I’ve dealt with this theme and it is like salt on a wound the more you obsess the more it burns and the more the thoughts “feel” real. But the second I chose not to obsess over them anymore. It wa slike day and night. I’m not fully recovered from ROCD and I struggle with it. But you have to stop confessing s that is a compulsion and WILL harm your relationship. It is okay to talk about how you are struggling with your OCD, but it is not okay to tell your partner these things as if it fixes anything. Please practice ERP and uncertainty acceptance. You will get better this way. Good luck.

What are you struggling with ?

I’m struggling with thinking that I like other people, that I’m bi and thinking doubts of my relationship. All things I don’t want and that I’ve never struggled with before.

I think things and then instantly assume the worst.

Im the the same mate. Im really struggling i just seem to have men on my mind constantly and i hate it

Why do you think your bi ?