I got mad at my bf yesterday and I feel like I always get mad over the dumbest things and I say I’m gonna get better but I end up doing the same thing and then I get mad at him when he does something that I don’t like and put it on him. And it’s not fair. And I know he’s tired of me getting mad all the time and idk ROCD and HOCD just make me so sad and I am scared I am unhappy. And I try to let these little things go because I really want to and it’s my choice but then my thoughts come and say “well this happened, well he did this, well you can’t get past this” when I reality I can get passed this and live a happy life. But my thoughts also say “if you’re depressed you can’t be happy and you’re just faking it” but I feel like I can for sure be happy and it all depends on me. Idk it’s weird

No because there’s really nothing wrong with it at all I just always strive for perfection and I guess it’s my own insecurities and because of it I relate it to my relationship. Cause I feel like relationships are so much more than feelings and relying on that one person to make you happy

Also I have been thinking that although this is extremely triggering I will use it as ERP

@takingmylifeback Omg I literally experience the same thing! My parter is the most amazing person and I am so lucky to have him in my life, as is he lucky to have me. Just like you, I cling on to the littlest of things that annoy me. I have really low self esteem and I have this major thing about cheating. Last week I brought up something that made me unhappy TWO YESRS AGO! He had a gorgeous gym girl on a tab on his laptop (physically the total opposite of me 😂). It made me really insecure due to my low self esteem. Even though we spoke about it two years ago, I saw the girl on my Instagram and got triggered and got super upset again, even though we have move past it. I also am similar to you in the sense I strive for perfection, and anything that slightly upsets me (bare in mind I am extremely sensitive and low self esteem so a lot upsets me 😂). I don’t agree with the comment that was made above, that it has nothing to do with ocd. It is totally ROCD along with perfectionism. Just remember we’re not all perfect, not a single person. But as long as u can open up to your partner and tell them that ur struggling, then you will get through it. Communication is key here. X

@croche Thank you so so much for this!! We are similar bahaha I feel a lot of these things. And yea the comment above upset me even when I hung out with my boyfriend I couldn’t stop thinking about whether it was true or not which took away from my time with him but other than that I felt so good. And I am going to keep that in mind... no one is perfect and as long as he is trying that is all that matters. My self esteem definitely makes me seem like I am not enough which projects into my partner. Totally not his fault. Thank you so much for your advice I appreciate it!!