I have struggled with ocd since I was about 12. I am now almost 23. I just started going to therapy early this year, received a diagnosis (even though I already knew), and started on medication to manage my ocd combined with therapy. I stopped going to my therapist (who was practicing emdr) and felt good on my medication. Then I felt so good that I was a bit lax on my meds and definitely missed a couple of days.
Now I feel like I've completely spiraled. I feel anxious 65% of the day. I don't even know what is triggering me half the time. I feel like I'm just in a never ending cycle of anxiety, panic, and depression.
My ocd symptoms are clawing back. Its like I can feel them. I can feel the voice that tells me that the people I care about are going to die if I use that fork or touch something wrong. I'm becoming late and rushed for things again because I have to go in and out of my house several times. Sometimes I can rationalize and be mindful like I was working on in my therapy but its like a black hole feeling that just makes me want to cry.
I don't like using the word crazy but I feel like that right now.
On the plus side, I had a really great meeting for a potential job yesterday so I am trying to focus on the positives and get back to a regular med schedule.
I'm calling my therapist to book in an appointment tomorrow.