How do I know? That's my main question all the time. -How do I know that I didnt cause the onslaught of terrible blasphemous thoughts? I'm so worked up abt one thought and it comes again, sometimes multiple times. I feel like I caused the others by still thinking about the first. - How do I know God will allow me to simply say: forgive me for those thoughts and forgive me if I caused any? Instead of perfectly saying the prayer with every possible detail of what could of happened. (Praying for one thing can last a long time) -How do I know that if I need forgivness at all for these things? I've spent a good majority of my day today crying and praying and being incredibly stressed out about saying my prayers perfectly about some bad things that happened earlier( blasphemous thoughts and being afraid I caused some) and another just now. It builds up and I knock down a few bad thoughts and finish my prayer but then another comes. It never stops. I'm afraid God will not forgive me if I dont do the prayers perfectly. I know I'm not supposed to do the prayers and I'm supposed to trust God, but what if I'm wrong? What if I DID cause any? I'm sorry guys. I realize all my post have been negative. I'm going through it right now. I just started counciling last week and have my 2nd session tomorrow. I've been crippled by fear.

Claire

Date posted: 4y

"Other temptations there are which are not dangerous, as they are abhorrent…. Such are temptations to blasphemy, certain abominable thoughts and words against God, the saints, and holy images…. Now, with such temptations it is by no means prudent or wise to struggle or to enter on a hand-to-hand fight, saying “I will not consent; I detest, I abhor them”: both because, on account of there being no danger of yielding them consent, there is no need to offer resistance and because, by resisting, the person subjects himself to a slavery, by conceiving such an intense abhorrence of them, as most frequently only stirs them to activity and imprints them more deeply on the fancy….Not a few persons are timorous, and of so delicate a conscience, that they feel great abhorrence of all impurity, and of every action in which a grievous sin may lurk. When an image or a feeling contrary to purity presents itself to such as these, they fall into great fear and feel intense pain; they arm themselves against such thoughts…. And what is the result? The more these thoughts are driven away the more they return to the mind…. [A]s I have already observed, nothing is so apt to awaken such thoughts, or to fix them in the mind, as excessive fear. The reason of which is obvious. Fear excites the fancy and impresses it with the dreaded object.” + Fr. Giovanni Batista Scaramelli “It is not those who commit the least faults who are most holy, but those who have the greatest courage, the greatest generosity, the greatest love, who make the boldest efforts to overcome themselves, and are not immoderately apprehensive of tripping.” – St. Francis de Sales

Claire

Date posted: 4y

It sounds like you know what to do and are having a really hard time. That's normal. Keep in mind that you are just starting out, and that Jesus Himself was tempted to sin. We don't become holy by our own power and striving, but by abandoning ourselves completely to Him. As you move forward, things will become clearer and your trust will grow. Have patience and do your best to bear these thoughts without struggle, because all our crosses come from God and bring us closer to Him.

Kristina

Date posted: 4y

@Claire Thank you Claire. I understand how it works and that fighting makes it worse. I really like your quote by the way. I know this will bring me closer to God. I just am scared of losing Him. I'm scared that bc I know I can ask forgivness and also dont know If I sinned that I'm willingly sinning and/or being okay with that possibility. I also just cant figure out if the thoughts are my fault. I'm terrified to start ERP because I'm afraid of willfully sinning.

Claire

Date posted: 4y

@Kristina It's okay to be scared of all those things. I have been too! The way that I was able to step into the uncertainty was telling God that I am weak and can't figure things out on my own, and asking Him to accept me in that weakness. Ultimately I also realized that scrupulosity can be how the devil distracts us from truly growing closer to God. If he distracts us with horrible fears and hours of compulsions and "figuring out," we can't grow closer to God or serve Him and others as we should. One other thing that helped me was to focus on adding virtue to my life rather than just avoiding sin. Rather than analyzing my thoughts for sin or mistakes, I tried to look outside myself at what the world around me needs and answer that 💕

ButterflyStar

Date posted: 4y

Oh my gosh are you still on this app? Beczuse I need to talk to you! Your post is ME!!!! No one else seems to struggle with the same things BUT YOU DO!! are you still on this app?? Please reply ❤️❤️❤️

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