- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 4y
I used to have pocd too. Not any more. And I have 3 kids. Don't worry about future. Live in the present. Your ocd symptoms change. You don't know what you LL be like years from now.
- Date posted
- 4y
@🐝 I can relate. In my worst moment I thought life is not worth living but then anxiety/ depression don't last forever and I have had a lot of good moments recently. You will too. Hang in there. Commit to erp and you can live your life the way you want to and not how ocd wants you to.
- Date posted
- 4y
@🐝 I did erp on my own using "freedoms from ocd" book by Jonathan greyson and I have improved a lot. That is an option for you if you cannot find a therapist.
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel this way and I am currently oreganant. I thought I wanted kids at one point fit whatever reason. My thoughts tell my otherwise. I’m in such turmoil. To terminate or not. I feel like I should know what to do but I don’t. I feel like either way...I’m forever ruined and destined to always think these thoughts and worries.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Jojo Don't terminate. You will love being a mom. I got so much joy from being a mother. Nothing can be compared to it. I have got so much better than I was just after 3 months doing erp. You can get better too. Many other ocd sufferers I know have improved as well. There is hope. Erp works 100% of the time. You won't feel this way forever. No feeling is permanent ever.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Jojo You are not destined to anything. The choice is yours. If you do erp you will get better. I used to think like you 3 months ago but not any more. I have more good days than bad days now.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you. I am with a therapist. I’m supposed do ERP on my own but I’m just not feeling it not when I’m thinking about the pregnancy. Also today was my 1st appt to confirm i hadn’t even thought about the appt until today, I put it out of mind out of sight . Then today I started thinking about my future with a child. It looks bleak. For the past few days I’ve been okay with my thoughts, haven’t obsessed, haven’t been anxious really and then today after the appt I’ve started worrying about the “ what if’s, the uncertainties “ I felt so different than how I felt when the thoughts 2st started that I almost didn’t feel like I needed erp. I’ve thought “ what if erp proves I am a P , what if it doesn’t work , what if this what if that “ I’m pushing myself to continue with it and forcing myself to do my 1st erp not because I’m scared of what it’ll tell me just because I don’t feel motivated in doing it not when all I can think of is this pregnancy. Ty for your words btw.
- Date posted
- 4y
Have faith in erp. I am not recovered but I am so much better. The thoughts don't have as much power over me. I was in a really dark place but 3 months of erp made a huge difference. There are hours when I don't even feel like I have erp. I still have hard days but they are rare and not as devastating as they used to be. I have faith you ll get better too and you will have a wonderful future with your child. Sounds like you have p ocd. I used to. But not any more. Ocd themes do change.
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes I do have POCD started with a thought a few day’s after I found out I was pregnant. I’ve had similar thoughts before but they didn’t latch on for whatever reason. So really this is the 1st time that I’ve really been concerned with these subtype. I was so distressed and in hell when they first started . I was suicidal very suicidal, depressed , severely depressed. Those feeling have been numb fir a few day’s now. I still see myself as depressed but not like when this 1st started. At 1st I had the usual erp concerns “ what if this and that “ now it’s just motivating myself to do it because I’m not motivated to do much really. Plus my initial 1st erp session was looking a child cejebrity pics and I was not in any distress..it was kinda boring actually so I worried what if I am a P and I bothered by these thoughts now so why go through with it. But I keep trying to move forward and push myself. I have a session on Monday. In the meantime my therapist has told me to do the erp on my own for at least an hr a day. I’m just unmotivated and thinking about this pregnancy non stop is not helping at all. My ocd thoughts this time around have at times gone from pocd to harm ocd related to pocd. But mostly it’s been pocd. Before in my younger days it was blasphemy ocd, burning in hell, hat nice thoughts about family, general harm to people, hypochondriac type ocd thoughts. Last time I had a crappy exp with ocd thought it was brought in by my insomnia due to the stress of being home due to the pandemic. That was back. In April or so. I couldn’t sleep cuz I was thinking all night and thinking at one point I had convinced myself I had some deadly disease that would cause me to loose the ability to sleep. I was afraid I was gonna die from now sleep . Smh. Now this....which to me I would rather take any other ocd subtype than this.
- Date posted
- 4y
Ocd can be really overwhelming. I have been suicidal too because of ocd. I am so glad you are seeing a therapist and doing erp. It will be hard work but you will get better. And hopefully by the time your child is born your ocd will be under control. Don't assume that your pocd will spike up when your child is born. None of us knows the future. Who knows. You might be over that theme once your child is born. I prayed for you and your child tonight. May God give you strength to do erp and get better. May He protect your child and keep the child healthy. You should read overcoming unawanted intrusive thoughts by sally winston if you have not. Our thoughts are not a problem. How we react to them is the problem.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Sunflower 1234 Thank you. I pray to God everyday. Even when I feel like my faith is tested. Thank you for your prayers 🙏🙏
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
So I know I've talked about my fear of being hacked/watched without my knowledge and at the same time that same fear has also made me scared that i've said incriminating things or confessed to a crime I didn't commit out loud without realizing and that this person (who probably doesn't even exist) is going to use it against me in the future and ruin my life. To the point where I've covered all my device cameras. Yeah, I know. Incredibly outlandish. Anyways. The past few months it's just been my brain convincing me that my life is over or that it's going to end and not just end, but like I'm going to lose everyone that I love because of said "incriminating things" though I know I haven't done anything wrong. Of course, there's a part of me that realises that this is really unlikely because I'm not that important of a person for someone to lie in wait for decades and decide to ruin my life just because though I don't doubt that there are people like that out there (i really hope they're few and far between). However, there's another part of me that also really believes that this is all true. And sometimes I wonder if I'm going insane. Coupled with what I believe are false memories, the anxiety has been taxing every day. And I find it hard to sit with uncertainty because this worst case scenario terrifies me. I'm scared of being unloved and abandoned and also deathly afraid of being perceived as a bad person. And of course, also scared of being a bad person and my brain is convinced that I must be. Anyways. Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. I wanted to share because I know that OCD or I guess any kind of mental illness (whatever it is I'm suffering from if it isn't OCD) likes to convince us that our fears are too niche and that this worry wouldn't be present if it wasn't real. OCD likes to use that as proof. I've learnt though that there are many people like me on this app, and even though it's still scary, it makes me feel less alone. It can be very tiring and honestly sometimes I ask myself how I'm still here even though it's been a few months and some people on here have experienced episodes like this for years or even decades. I keep hoping I'll wake up one day and it will be like this never happened. If you've taken the time to read this incredibly long waffle session of mine that's more like a drawn-pit diary entry, thank you. And if you feel comfortable with sharing, please do :)
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- Date posted
- 17w
I'm struggling with a lot of doubts today, but trying the best I can to keep on living my life 🥲 I'm on 150mg of Sertraline right now, and honestly, I'm feeling a lot better than before. Do I still get triggered? Yes! But I'm handling it easier. The only issue is, I feel like I'm obsessing over recovering? Not if I'm doing it "right," but more so getting to a point where I feel "perfect." That's not possible, I know. Even before OCD spiraled out of control, I struggled with other issues on a daily basis. But life felt simpler back then, and I didn't have this magical (and annoying) ability to remember every single bad thing that's ever happened to me or every single intrusive thought I've ever had in extreme detail 😭 Whenever I'm feeling okay, I can not help but think, "Remember how bad it was (insert time-frame)?" And then my mind zip zaps through every instance I've ever felt anxiety, like...? I don't even know if it's me doing this or if its OCD, but it frustrates me so, so much when it happens. Anyway, that's all for now... If anyone can relate, we're in this together 🤍 Hang in there!
- Date posted
- 17w
The thought of ocd being long-term is scaring me pretty bad. My therapist told me in our first visit last week that it will always come back and it triggered me. I know everyone says it’s manageable, but I keep having the thought that I won’t be able to handle it the rest of my life and I will want to suic. myself. I am terrified :(
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