- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
For some reason I think I’m gay because of the sheer volume of lesbian - straight dreams I’ve had in my life. As if I don’t also have horrible sex dreams about my mother and other relatives.
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- 4y
Because clearly these dreams mean nothing since I DO NOT want sex with my mother or other family members
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- 4y
It’s so hard when all you want is for someone to relate and validate your experience
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- 4y
there are many reasons why our bodies react to various images of sexual nature. i understand that ocd makes you feel and urgency to know exactly what these reactions mean, but in this ocd pursuit, it tires you out. it is the cycle that is ocd. you’re strong enough to face the uncertainty head on because you’ve been strong.
- Date posted
- 4y
My first sexual ideas had to do with boobs. I mean I wasn’t doing something to them, but they’re seen as sexy pretty unanimously and as a woman I felt when I had boobs that meant sex
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- 4y
do you fantasize about lesbian stuff?? because the intrusive thoughts have crept into my fantasies and i’m able to cum to them :/
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- 4y
I used to all the time. Watched lesbian porn and all. I’ve stopped since HOCD hit because I’m scared it’ll be proof that I’m gay. Sometimes I get images of women when I’m masturbating to fantasies of men.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Villandi i always have those images. and i didn’t have these “fantasies” until ocd. i only used to watch lesbian porn and cum and that was it. and then after i stopped watching lesbian porn i had to fantasize and i’ve been able to think of my bf and stuff and cum but still have those images and remember les porn scenes and cum to that or try to push out fantasies of me doing things with girls
- Date posted
- 4y
I had almost same thing happen except incest. Remember, people in general get turned on when they aren’t supposed to be doing something. That’s why there are so many people who watch taboo porn. It doesn’t mean you actually want to do it. When you can’t have something since you’re fighting so hard against those thoughts, it makes you want to just think it. If you don’t want them to happen you don’t want them to happen. Simple as that 💕 we get turned on by all sorts of things and that’s ok. Just the act of checking to see if we are turned on turns you on. That doesn’t mean anything.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..
- Date posted
- 19w
I had a bad rumination spiral yesterday and went to bed hoping I’d start over in the morning. I was wrong. I had dreams about liking women and not being attracted to men anymore and my entire body has been in a state of anxiety since. I genuinely feel like I’m gay and just need to accept it. I have this urge to accept it. Maybe if I do I’ll get some sort of relief because this feeling is awful. I feel like my brain is telling me that I’ll get relief if I just accept it and come out. The intrusive thoughts don’t even seem to be around sexual images anymore, just to come out.
- Date posted
- 18w
Last night I took my meds to help me sleep and I kept waking up throughout the night with thoughts like “I’m really a lesbian now” or “I’m ok with it now, this is what I prefer”. I really feel like everyday for a couple of days now, I’ve woken up feeling more and more like my preferences have completely changed. The first few days was major anxiety, panic attacks, then I had a really bad double-bind and reversal spiral, and I became a little bit calmer since then. Now I feel like I’m managing the thoughts without anxiety or panic like I’m used to, but now it feels like I really want them and that I’m ok with it. Like I don’t care anymore. But the thing is, in between all of the mini spiral episodes I’ve had, I had these little moments of clarity like “I’m not giving up on my fantasies of men” or “I’ve always wanted men, that doesn’t just change”. But last night I’ve had really sexual dreams that I’m having trouble interpreting. I had one where I think it was me sleeping with a guy, but I woke up frantically because I think the roles got reversed, but I’m not sure. Another one I was a random woman with a husband, but I think the roles got reversed again so I woke up immediately. Both times it felt like arousal. Obviously I still care somewhat if I’m still here asking, but my brain or maybe me (I’m really not sure anymore) is telling me that I’m a lesbian now and I prefer it. It’s like I don’t care and want it now. It’s like I’m not even feeling confusion about it. I don’t know if it’s because of the meds, I’ve been distracted (family in town), because I’m in maybe quieter stages after two bad spiral episodes, or because I’ve really changed. It’s literally like I think being a lesbian will be enjoyable now but I don’t want that, even if my brain (and body apparently) keeps telling me that. I was told that ocd doesn’t change who you are, but now I’m worried that what I thought was background noise leading up to another spiral was suppressed self discovery (I’ve had two major soocd episodes in my life: late high school and now a few years later).
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