What about obsessive thoughts about your partner being unloyal? How do you cope with them?

Same way you cope with all of the obsessive thoughts - “maybe, maybe not” and sit with the uncertainty.

No, unfortunately ignoring has the opposite effect. You have to acknowledge the thought, accept that you’re having it, allow yourself to have it, and let it pass on its own, naturally. The thought and any feelings it brings with it will naturally dissolve on its own as long as we don’t perform any compulsions.

Overtime it will get better as long as you’re starving it of compulsions

Im new in this mess so forgive me. So i guess you mean: no more asking my partner if they are faithful to me and no more accusations? What happens next? Ill be free of the obsessive thought but it doesnt help with this lack of trust and uncertainty

No worries. So this is kind of tricky. I was in a similar situation. But my partner actually had a track record of being unfaithful. But I became obsessed with checking all of his social media’s, his phone, etc. it occupied a good amount of my time. But he wasn’t really making any efforts to prove to me he had changed. Obsessive behavior is not healthy regardless the circumstances however, it can happen when you have trust issues in your relationship. Has your partner been unloyal? Are they taking steps to earn your trust back? Are these worries valid or did they come out of the blue? I would talk to your partner about your expectations and concerns and then reassess your relationship/ come up with a game plan so that you guys are both happy and comfortable. But the same applies, let the thoughts come and go. Unless you have a legitimate, rational concern-then in that case, communicate with your partner

So yeah that sounds like classic ocd. Your obsession would be his loyalty or the uncertainty revolving around it. And The compulsion would be the asking him about it to gain reassurance (reassurance seeking). When the thoughts come up and the urges arise, I would recommend letting them be there and acknowledge that you have them. Avoid asking him for reassurance.

That’s only gonna fuel the fire

Just acknowledge the thoughts and sit with the discomfort they bring

Sounds like fucking hell. Have you done this? I mean are you free?

It is fucking hell 😅 but it’s the only way to beat it. I haven’t been here with this particular theme, I broke up with my partner because our relationship was super unhealthy. But it’s the same practice for any and all types of ocd regardless of the content of the thoughts. So yes, I have been here and am currently here with other types of ocd!

It’s rough but I can speak from experience. It works!

Nothing worth having comes easy

Sounds like I really have to deal with spending my next few months with my private discomfort 🤡 i cant stop hating him for what i "think" he's doing 😅 you mean there are always other types of ocd we can 'catch' after beating one intrusive bastard? i better get ready for this fucking rollercoaster

The second you feel a thought come in acknowledge it and respond with “maybe, maybe not”. Another good one is to be like “yep, probably.” Even agree with the thought. But then stop yourself from doing any compulsions. Overtime you will train your brain. It’ll get bored of the thought therefore it’ll happen less often. I like to acknowledge the thought, feel the feeling it brings on and move on. A good script is “maybe he did do that. Maybe he didn’t. I don’t need to figure it out right now. I am going to move on with my day and do something important to me.” And then move on with your day. The same principle applies for all themes. You may notice another one trying to creep up but as soon as you recognize it apply the same rule! Acknowledge and accept.