Please read. I really need help right now... My OCD keeps pushing right back into the cycle with a vague impression of something bad previously happening and false memories, which has become a waking nightmare. After trying to shrug the thoughts off, it all returns with distorted renders of the past and terrible images that must be impossible. I need help, someone to talk to. My family is increasingly concerned for me or beyond frustrated. In fact, a couple family members do not believe I even have the disorder. This only worsens how I feel. I cannot talk about it with my friends. I try to hold in all together, but it’s becoming really difficult. I cannot work on anything I enjoy anymore. My favorite music is no help, unfortunately. I do not see my therapist until Monday. I’m having a hard time concentrating on being present. I did exposure work, which I now regret—greatly. I sometimes fantasize about dying, but stop at the thought of, “are you are willing to kill yourself over something that most likely never happened?” And, no, I haven’t given too much serious thought either. So please do not be too alarmed by that remark. I am now questioning every aspect of the past, my perception of reality, and who I am as a person, though. It’s three months, non stop. When will the suffering end? I cannot bare it anymore. I cannot live with the possibility of harming another person. Why must I be tortured with such horrific thoughts? Can someone please give words of encouragement or advice. Has anyone been here? How do I better myself? Is anyone willing to talk personally?