I’m really confused and I’m hoping someone can relate or help. I’m sorry if this triggers anyone. I did struggle with HOCD/sexual orientation OCD and it lasted pretty much throughout my formative years and I still struggle with it a little today. I feel like I have control over it for the most part, but now I’m just confused. Some days it’s really clear and others not so much. I can’t tell if that’s lingering OCD or something real and it makes me confused. Then aside from that I have really low sex drive. I don’t know whether that’s due to the OCD and just having a low libido because of it or if I’m under the ace umbrella, which I’m totally cool with either way (progress!) I’m just confused. I don’t want to set anything in stone. I just don’t like the concept of labels and trying to fit somewhere because I never can and it’s hard for me to tell what’s real and fake. I feel like some of this confusion is bring my Sexual Orientation OCD back because part of the problem in the first place was the uncertainty. I’m so uncertain about what I like now that it’s starting to come back.

Keep in mind, many people are conflicted on their road to finding their sexuality. It could be that you are, in fact, curious at the least. Nothing wrong with that, but given that you have OCD? It could be both. You may be curious and uncertain, therefore OCD comes into play. That said, neither require concrete answers. Even if you didn't have OCD, you don't have to have everything "figured out" and many people on the spectrum of sexuality aren't positive where they fall exactly. That's okay. Just don't push yourself for certainty.

I can’t offer much help but I can relate! OCD has made me obsess over the ‘what ifs ‘ of my own sexuality so so much I’ve actually just stopped dating because meeting new potential partners just spurs up a whole heap of uncertainty and fear! What if I will hurt them.. what if I get hurt.. are they right.. am I wrong... if I sleep with them am i bad ... am I gay .. am I straight.. and what will people think.. what if I date this guy then realise I’m gay.. what if I date a woman to try out if I am gay and I hurt her because I’m not! what if I’m asexual la la la so on so forth!! Never can separate what’s OCD and what’s real! I’d like to get to a place where I can be free and experimental with my sexuality without the fear!!! And without the need to label! I’m pretty sure it is there!! It’s just afraid to come out! 😣 i think the end goal would just be to meet someone and be happy!!?

Oh and I forgot to say.. I also have the low sex drive ....and don’t really feel attracted to many people until I get to know them!... I know I want and enjoy sex and want a relationship.. I’m pretty sure the fear and the OCD in my brain has shut that part down to avoid fear and uncertainty, but yes this does make me question myself big time!! Ahhh it’s a vicious cycle ! Sending you some good vibes and hope xx