How do you overcome your HOCD and POCD when they both target your porn usage as a specific memory? Please help me with this because I’m honestly scared af

It’s my HOCD and POCD that’s been constantly bringing it up. I can’t stop these intrusive memories. They consistently show up and make me depressed and make my want to die sometimes. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual, and especially not some monstrous and disgusting pedo. I fucking hate myself.

@SOOCD Face this with a positive vibe! You have to realize this is OCD, ok? I feel like you’re panicking over something that isn’t a chemical imbalance... Leave the intrusive images. Drop them. Don’t find meaning to them. Let them pass. Im sure a majority of people don’t want to be gay or bisexual- cmon, all the stuff we have to go through? I suffered through one attempt and self injury because of the feelings.

@Chai No ones responding to the posts I made. You should check them out you wanna see why I hate myself so much. I’ve also been triggered by people on the NOCD forum in the past which is why I’m very cautious and anxious

@Chai The posts I made are about my POCD

@SOOCD Could you comment it here? I have to do a lot of browsing to try to find specific posts. Don’t be afraid of the NOCD forum! We are all here to help you!

@Chai After someone told me I was gay or bisexual in denial on the NOCD forum, it’s been really hard trusting people here. But here it goes. My POCD is making me think that I’m a monster whose attracted kids because I masturbated to lesbian ANIME lolicon hentai (cartoon porn) a couple of times when I was 16-18. I fucking hate myself so much for it and I stopped over a year ago. I’m 19 now. This POCD makes me feel like I’m a monster and I don’t really trust myself or others in the forum. I get intrusive thoughts of people telling me that I’m a monster or that they changed their mind and think that I’m a pedo. I’ve been in a constant spiral of sadness, anxiety, depression, and some thoughts of self harm. I hate myself in every being. I have no attraction to kids in real life, nor will I ever. I only like women older or 2 years younger. I will never like any underage girl.

@SOOCD Hey, it’s one dude. He even explained to me about it. I think you shouldn’t let one example make the app worse. I could go on about how porn is such a complicated topic mentally- but I’m not gonna reassure you. That was three years ago. That was a couple times. Why should that dominate your life? Don’t let it. What happened, happened. Three years isn’t the same as right now. If you have any thoughts of self harm, talk to a trusted adult or a hotline (I have pretty good trusted sources if you want me to link them.) I committed self injury for four months, and those were the worst periods of my life- I still have scars.