Now for people with HOCD I need your help. And I’m scared at the moment. I remember getting erections to everything since I was a child, but the two most terrifying instances of memory were when I had erections to the Incredible Hulk game when I was 8-9. Everytime the hulk took heavy damage, he would start heavily breathing, and I got an erection to that. I also got an erection to the gay scenes from the take me to church music video when I was 13-14, but now when I check the video, I don’t get an erection at all. Does this mean I’m gay or bisexual in denial? IM SCARED.

I can’t afford therapy. That’s the thing. And I don’t want to stress out my parents because of my situation.

@SOOCD Well I think your parents would want you to get better. You can pay them back when you get well and live on to get a good job and a good life. All these things are harder without proper help. Maybe they have insurance? Do you use the tools on the app though? Preventing ourselves from doing compulsions is the only way we all can beat OCD.

@asdfghj We don’t have medical insurance at all. I used the tools, they don’t work. I’ve don’t mindfulness. It doesn’t work. I’ve tried accepting and AGREEEING with the thoughts. It didn’t work. It just made everything worse. I fucking hate myself so much I don’t want to be gay or bisexual fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fcuck fucjcmcufcicnckchfkcijcnccnkchxnxixudndjdxx

@SOOCD We can’t tell you whether you are straight, gay, bisexual or what have you. What we can tell you is that the more you entertain the thoughts, the worse the anxiety may get, and the worsening anxiety makes you feel as if your thoughts are real or they are an indication of who you are deep down. This is simply not true. You have to delegitimize the thoughts. Recognize them as thoughts and nothing more. Do not mentally time travel to try and find solutions to your worries. It doesn’t work. What I want you to do right now is breath. Count the breaths each time you exhale until you reach ten breaths then start again. While you do this place your hand on your belly. Feel your hand move up and down with the breath. Do this everyday. Especially when the thoughts arise in your head.

@SOOCD I know you want a definitive answer to this question. But right now that isn’t going to work for you. You have to calm down and come to a point where the logical mind takes over.

@maestro90 *I’m not yelling at you I’m yelling because I’m terrified* BUT HOW DO I DO THAT WHEN MY HOCD BOMBARDS ME WITH THAT SUFF ALONG WITH FALSE ATTRACTIONS, AND GROINAL RESPONSES AND STUFF LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!?! PLUS MY HOCD DOESNT LET ME CALM DOWN AND IT MAKES ME ASSUME THAY WHEN PEOPLE DONT ANDWER THAT ITS TRUE AND THAT I AM WHAT I FEAR FUCK

@SOOCD So if we answer your problems go away? If we answer your anxiety lifts a tiny bit until its back again and you do the compulsions over again. And that way youll never be free. ERP is the way. You know this. You know that this reassurance seeking doesnt work. Have you read Freedom from OCD by Jonathan Grayson?

@SOOCD I understand. I do. You feed the OCD by wrestling with the thoughts. Imagine your thoughts as a river. Right now you are trying to stand in the river and prevent it from flowing. Get out of the water, close your eyes and listen to the steam come and go. We can not change the direction of the flow, but we can watch and listen to th water until the stream slows to a soft slow flow.

@asdfghj My HOCD assumes that my fears are true if no one answers. Because it feels like no one wants to answer because they assume I’m gay/bisexual when I don’t want to be.

I’m about to destroy my room because I’m so frustrated. Because it’s like if people don’t help me then my HOCD and POCD makes it feel like this is true and that I’m gay or bisexual, or that I’m a disgusting pedo. I’m so fucking angry