I have Real Event OCD. I analyze every moment of my relationship and I feel so bad about how I used to talk to my girlfriend when we first started talking. I was 19 at the time, now I’m 26 and throughout our relationship I’ve grown so much since then. I feel like she raised me in a way because she taught me all the values I hold dear to myself now. I’m scared that I may have flirted with someone or even cheated on her even though I don’t remember that ever happening. I don’t trust who I used to be and since we rushed into our relationship (we started dating 2 months after meeting) I’m scared that I was still talking to other girls when we first started. I feel so guilty and ashamed that this could even be a possibility. I fear that I don’t love her anymore because all I do is be anxious and I can’t seem to enjoy the moment. I don’t know if this is OCD or if I actually did something and my subconscious is making me guilty :( I feel like I’m stuck

sounds like OCD to me! I'm sorry you're going through this, I've been there and it's a terrible feeling. Its clear you love your girlfriend so much or else you wouldn't feel so guilty about things that most likely didn't happen - don't let any "what if"s or "did I"s convince you otherwise!

I remember being so stupid and saying things to her just to be “cool” in front of my friends that I’m not proud of even though I was just playing around. I also remember an ex inviting me to her house to have sex and instead of replying with a firm no I said “I’m trying to be loyal to my girlfriend”. Then she said “oh my bad” and I said “no worries” I feel so guilty because I always wanted to be nice to everyone and I should’ve been more firm. I remember her also telling me that I was too friendly with girls and I feel so bad about that. I wish I had all the knowledge and experience I have now back then. I was also talking to multiple girls right before we got together and now I worry that it might’ve overlapped with the beginning of our relationship. I know that by a month into our relationship I was posting her everywhere on social media and I was 100% devoted but what if I did something wrong in that first month :( these thoughts haunt me even in my sleep even though it’s been over 6 years

Sounds like you’re stuck in contsant rumination: https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/understanding-pure-o-you-are-not-having-intrusive-thoughts-all-day-you-are-ruminating/