How does recovery feel like guys i want details plz

Love that point about the rumination being a compulsion. Sometimes people equate the rumination with the intrusive thoughts themselves which keeps them from cutting down on the compulsions.

@nGfloat Exactly!

When you have a thought, do you think about that thought?

That would be rumination. Which is a compulsion. For example- Let’s say you’re standing waiting for a train at the subway. There’s someone in front of you. You get the thought of pushing that person in front of the train. What you just had was a thought. It’s an intrusive thought. It’s a thought that makes you feel anxious. But here’s what’s surprising- everyone has thoughts like that. The difference between “Us OCD people and normal people” is this- Normal people have that thought, they get anxiety and move on with their day. That’s it! That’s the secret to all this. People with OCD automatically react to that thought. We question that thought. We argue with it. We perform some kind of physical compulsion (fidgeting, check your phone, skin picking etc) or we distract ourselves some other way or just avoid going to the subway to ride the train anymore. When you have an intrusive thought about pushing someone in front of a train, you just had that thought. There’s nothing you can do to change that thought! It’s there. It happened. You got anxiety which is fine! Now don’t “think” about it anymore. And there is a difference between thinking and having a thought. Anytime you analyze a thought, that is rumination- which is a compulsion. Your brain was uncomfortable with that anxiety, so it wants to ruminate to help you find mental reassurance.

@outdoorman But sometime i tell my self ok stop doing compulsions and me telling myself that turns into a compulsion idk how idk ehat going on in my brain

@katia7 It sounds like your OCD is just ramping up in complexity. That definitely happens. But it’s still treated the same exact way I explained up above. When you tell yourself to stop doing compulsions- then stop. By you ruminating, you are just giving your thoughts power. The thought can be about anything and I mean anything. It doesn’t matter what the thought is, it’s all about thinking. We are all good thinkers here! But that is what gets us in trouble when we start thinking about intrusive thoughts. Remember- The thought is not the problem, it’s the compulsion or ritual that you are performing. Thinking and thoughts are different. With ALOT of practice and patience you will become more skilled at distinguishing between the two. Be kind to yourself. All these years your brain was used to doing one thing and that was to protect you from anything bad happening. Give it time and keep practicing!