Having Social Anxiety with OCD is so annoyingly hard. I have Real Event OCD themed around hurting my partner. So for example every time time I drink I obsess over the thought that I may have flirted or tried to hook up with another girl even though I would never do that, but since alcohol is involved I start freaking out because I ask myself “what if you got a too drunk and you just don’t remember?” and then my social anxiety comes in to double team my ass and says “hell yeah you did that and everyone saw you or she told all your friends about it and now everyone is gossiping and judging you.” Then OCD comes back with compulsions and says “yup you gotta confess before someone else tells her” or “you better fucking think about every second of that moment and make sure you didn’t do it” but since I can’t remember how I spent every single second I was there, my depression makes it’s grand entrance and makes me cry and stay in my bed without eating or drinking water for the rest of the day. I end up sleeping like 13 consecutive hours and then the cycle repeats the next day :) I love it here. It’s kind of impressive that my mind can do all this to me honestly.

I wanted to comment here to share that you are NOT ALONE. My OCD attacks me the exact same way. First time was nearly 2 years ago and I avoided going out drinking with my friends until like 2 months ago. No one said anything happened, but then my OCD attacks the parts of the night I remember being separated and alone. I know deep down I would never do anything, but these “flashes” or “images” of me being unfaithful to my partner lead me to analyzing and retracing the whole night until I “feel comfortable” that nothing happened. For me realizing these are thoughts and not necessarily true memories has helped. In essence, recognize the thought and DO NOT engage or go down the path of replaying the night. Over time it definitely gets better

Those are exactly the same thoughts and feelings that I have been dealing with. Although my girlfriend and I are not engaged, we are definitely very serious and openly talking with her about my anxiety has completely helped! All we can do is use the evidence at hand and deal with anything that comes up down the line, exactly as you have said. Also, for me knowing alcohol also triggers these thoughts (and potential actions) allows me to move forward and work on my drinking habits. For now, take comfort in knowing that this is a very common type of OCD. I wish you nothing but the best my friend, and best of luck with the wedding that is such a huge life moment and you deserve to be happy. Sending peace and love

Yessir, it’s always great to know there’s other people going through the same thing and you are not alone. I’m glad you are such a great human too my friend and best of luck with everything!