Ive had ocd for years they keep changing i used to do numbers even numbers then odd numbers then washing my hands now its harm ocd (and unplugging plugs but i didnt know that was a sign of ocd but when i do unplugg and plug in things i have to do it loads of times) i think about harming people and myself that i DO NOT want to do and i hate it it tortures me i have to think "f*** off (my name) no your not no you dont shut up (my name) no your not no you dont" i have to walk over or past things alot of times becsuse it "slits my wrists" or "slits my neck" and i dont want that to happen so i do the things and i even dont do school work because if i write things wrong i have to cross and cross things out and write them loads of times just to cross them out again and put loads of dots and underline things loads of times and sometimes i cant even put my hand on the paper because its "slitting my wrists" or "slitting my neck" and i dont want to put my self under that much stress so sometimes i just dont do it so i dont get stressed but sometimes i get stressed and carry on and then takes ages to stop and when i stop i dont want to start again incase it starts again and i get shouted at by my teachers for not doing any work most of the time the teachers dont notice that ive done none or not much but then they dont notice me crying over it anyway the worse part is mental health day or when they talk about mental health because all they talk about is depression i know depression is bad but why cant you talk about other things like ocd like eating disorders why cant you just talk about the problems im facing and what other people are facing instead of depression all the time ive told teachers about this my old head of year i told her more than ive told any other teacher more than ive told any one i think actually but theyre no help ive never been to a therapist or whatever you have for things like this i really want to go to one because i think i need one but i feel really awkward talking about things like normal things like underwear and puberty and mental health I feel like ill never be normal i feel like i cant have a normal life like bring up a kid and that breaks my heart all the time and that if i ever have a kid i cant bring it up properly or it'll look at me weird or that ill pass it onto them I hate what happens to me in my mind everyday it tortures me everyday I hate that i look at myself abit differently learning its a disability Now that i think of it and i really dont want to say this but a few times i have thought about people sexually any ages normally not even my own i DONT want to think like this I sometimes think about suicide but i dont know if thats an instrusive thought because i DO NOT want to commit suicide AT ALL I hate how my life has come to me not being able to tell my parents or anyone my problems i hate hate HATE IT i dont know what to do...

nicehazards

Date posted: 4y

You have make yourself be totally open with your therapist. Don’t let a simple emotion like insecurity hinder your progress.

cleoeastwood

Date posted: 4y

I dont have a therapist and im scared to tell anyone face to face ive showed this to 3 of my friends and that was over text

nicehazards

Date posted: 4y

@cleoeastwood This isn’t easy. I’m sorry to tell you it could be as easy or difficult as you make. I’ve recovered about 99.9% so now I can tell people I used to have severe OCD that lasted 20 years. But after 2 years of CBT and 4 months of (imo critical) ERP I am recovered (my definition of cured). It was the hardest and most painful process I’ve been through but the instant you see progress you will be amazed. I made huge changes after 2 sessions (2 weeks ERP). I wanted to die for so long. It consumed me. I almost bought the chemicals to brew a painless and fast death. It would have cost $70 plus shipping for what I thought was my medicine. For me, it had to be ERP and CBT. That saved my life. That should be your goal but if you’re like me you’ll wait until it gets bad because you think it will go away by itself. It’s a huge issue but doest have to be a huge problem with the proper support. From my studies and experience “Emotional Reaction Control”, mindfulness and a general philosophy of the strength of the mind is the path to recovery. It practically cured me when drugs couldn’t. Look for descriptions of emotional reaction control, mindfulness and emotional acceptance. Check out the highlighted paper. If you are curious about actual OCD therapy, my page will communicate some of the concepts that has helped me. Instagram:@mindstax

kmecroz

Date posted: 4y

Hey! So, I know what you're going through. OCD has a way of making you second guess who you are. It lies to you. Our brains misfire and intrusive thoughts get sticky. Then they just create this massive snowball effect of anxiety. Don't be ashamed to talk to a counselor. It wasn't until this year that I found out that Harm OCD was a thing. I just always thought I was crazy. My NOCD counselor here is wonderful! I'm learning how to rewire my brain. Everyone in the WORLD 🌎 has intrusive, crazy, messed up thoughts. It just happens to us OCD'ers more often because we think our thoughts have meaning. The only thing that has meaning is our beliefs, who we are as a person and our actions. Try to remember that and stay strong. Research Harm OCD, and other forms. It helps to know that you're not alone. Definitely do therapy!!! You can recover and your life does not have to be like this. You can become such a powerful tool for good! Imagine yourself on the other side of OCD sharing your story and encouraging others. Because the fact is sooooo many people are struggling with this and don't know where to turn. You're already one step ahead by acknowledging it and thinking about getting help. <3

nicehazards

Date posted: 4y

Sit in front of a mirror and tell yourself your problems in your voice acting as if you are telling another person. Practice this until you develop openness. Not with the everybody but it HAS to be with our therapist. Is your embarrassment and insecurity worse or your OCD. If it’s the OCD then your insecurities have to be shed because the ocd is intrusive. Ultimately ocd is an illness that is managed using emotional strength. When you get better you will be a much stronger emotional person and with your emotions in check the world could burn sound you and you could still be content. But it won’t get that bad because you are going to take steps forward today.

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