KatieW
- Date posted
- 4y
VictoriousOverHOCDVictoriousOv...
- Date posted
- 4y
ERP!!!
KatieWKatieW
- Date posted
- 4y
I always try to embrace the uncertainty but sometimes my thoughts try to convince me i like it! Im just tryna expose myself to the thoughts without reassurance and keep it movin but it sucksssss
VictoriousOverHOCDVictoriousOv...
- Date posted
- 4y
Have you worked with a professional on the ERP?
KatieWKatieW
- Date posted
- 4y
Ive been mostly self directed bc im a college student n my insurance legit doesnt cover therapy at all ! :(
VictoriousOverHOCDVictoriousOv...
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh boy. I know the spot you’re in my friend. It wasn’t easy for me to swing the cost of therapy, but for me I was at a point where I had no choice. I was in a mental hell. I never tried to do ERP on myself, but I can understand why someone who tried to do it on their own had trouble. You really do need to work with a professional because the HOCD is a slippery fucking snake. It will find ways to sneak back in and only a trained professional can help you navigate those waters. My suggestion is to save up for therapy if possible. You and your mental health are WORTH IT!
KatieWKatieW
- Date posted
- 4y
I appreciate your comments! Yes it's definitely the hardest to shake for me bc i try so hard to be authentic and the idea of everything changing overnight ik is irrational but so convincing!
VictoriousOverHOCDVictoriousOv...
- Date posted
- 4y
It is VERY convincing. I was terrified to death. My checking behaviors were absurd! I was looking up secret conversion therapy and all this other stuff I had no business doing. I was in HELL, but looking back I’m actually able to laugh about it. I know it seems like this big scary monster but once you do the ERP you realize there is nothing to be afraid of. You will be victorious!
KatieWKatieW
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes! Ive been watching dr mcgrath who says dont try to figure it out n thats what im doing. I kept trying to label my sexuality so i wouldnt speculate, thus making me go further down. Ive given up control n im like as long as im happy w my current partner imma do that. I could be wrong but oh well, this time a month ago i was on a totally different obsession
VictoriousOverHOCDVictoriousOv...
- Date posted
- 4y
Just keep striving for better and you will get there. One day you’ll be able to look back and laugh about it. I promise.
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
Did the thoughts make you feel like you like it or that’s what you wanted? I am in a spot right now where it legit doesn’t feel like I’m attracted to women anymore and it freaks me the hell out + the false attractions.
VictoriousOverHOCDVictoriousOv...
- Date posted
- 4y
@nGfloat Absolutely bro. I’m just now starting to feel like I have authentic attraction to women for the first time in probably over a decade. I’m 26 now. I didn’t realize how deep the HOCD was.
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
@VictoriousOverHOCD Man, I could cry. I have had this since around 16 as well and am 21 now. It feels so real even though I have a gf and I love her. You are an inspiration.
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- 4y
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KatieWKatieW
- Date posted
- 4y
I had tocd too!!
KatieWKatieW
- Date posted
- 4y
@𝐥𝐲𝐩𝐜 Definitely!!! The more i tried to figure it out the worse it got. I like to picture myself on a mountain and im watching my intrusive thoughts/feelings from a distance. I can see n feel them but they arent necessarily connected or relevant to me :) ACT !
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