TW: Discussions of Covid and infection. I’d like to talk to someone about it if they’re up to it, but if you’re not up to it or reading about it that’s perfectly ok. I’m shaking and panicking so much right now. This past weekend I went to go grab my gaming system from my father’s house even though I wasn’t feeling perfect since my brother had begged me to do it for weeks so he could play online with me. That day and the day before, I had sneezed a few times and my nose ran a few times, though it wasn’t really running but was just kinda damp to the touch. My throat hurt a little bit too, but I had reasons to think these were nothing to worry about. My throat hurt (I thought) because I slept with my mouth open and my mouth was super dry, and my nose ran (I thought) because my apartment was 64°F and my nose tends to run when it’s cold. Plus, I read that sneezing isn’t really a symptom of covid so if I did have something it probably wouldn’t be covid and thought maybe I’m just overthinking because of OCD. I hadn’t left my apartment in something like 25 days before that, isolating myself in my room for the vast majority of that time, and had only had contact with the one person I live with for a total of maybe 20 minutes that week. His girlfriend came over and coughed a few times, but he told me she coughs when she’s anxious sometimes and hadn’t taken her allergy meds that day. In addition, he had gotten a test (since he was planning on visiting someone for thanksgiving) a few days before and it was negative. I know asymptomatic people have a high rate of false negatives, but in combination with everything else I thought it was ok to go down there as long as I took precautions. Plus, I had been putting off going down to see my father for a couple of months anyways and he kept asking when I’d come. So, when I went down there, I agreed to meet outside only for 15 minutes, most of which was at least 10 feet apart while I wore a thick mask. I got about 6 feet away for maybe 3 minutes from my father, who was wearing a mask, and his girlfriend (whom he lives with) for maybe 30 seconds, though she was not wearing a mask. I also touched my dog a couple of times. Today I learned that both my father and his girlfriend (whom he lives with) started having symptoms yesterday, 3 days after my visit, though his girlfriend exhibited symptoms first. Her symptoms have not improved and she has to go to the ER now and has lost her sense of taste and smell. When I called them, she did not sound good. My father had a rough night but has not had many problems this morning. But I’m SO scared that I gave them covid. This has been my biggest OCD fear for the last half a year or so, and I’m worried that it’s true and that I’ve been irresponsible enough to give someone a deadly disease. Even worse, I’m worried about where they’ve been since I visited and if they may have infected others and I caused a chain of infections, and the other people who live in the house (the girlfriend’s children and a family friend). There are only a few places they could have gotten infected other than me. Both the girlfriend and one of her daughters work at Walmart, and one of the daughters goes to school, though school hadn’t been in session for at least 6-7 days before their symptoms started. I don’t know what to do now or how to live with myself if they are infected, especially if it is severe.