how long does it take for the intrusive thoughts to stop to making me feel like I’m not who I am? im dealing with gender identity ocd on top of so-ocd and it hurts so bad. ive never wanted to be anything other than a girl, ive never even considered anything else. but ever since the anxiety faded it feels like i actually want to be a boy bc whenever i imagine relationships with guys i see a boy and it’s so unsettling.

Thank you ❤️ I’m just unsure about how to do ERP bc I can’t access therapy right now. I’m not even sure what exposures would help 😭

@aurokoi The greatest help to me has been this: "Take advantage of the exposures you already have. Use response prevention, which is noticing an intrusive thought and then pursuing a meaningful direction." Even if you literally can only watch a tv show that is better than compulsing

@tybingham This is what I’ve been trying to do. When they first hit, I avoided everything I used to love because I was afraid that it would all of a sudden make me ‘realise’ I was actually transgender. I’m trying to avoid things less, but some days my head feels so loud it’s like I have no choice but to listen to the thoughts. I don’t know what my compulsions are, aside from avoidance.

Response** not reasonse

Wow these are really helpful, thank you!! I’ll try to expose myself to them tomorrow. But omg, wearing a ‘manly’ outfit... that made my throat close up... it’s just hard because I’m not sure what my compulsions are. I try not to check or argue with the thoughts, in fact I try to brush them aside altogether. I catch myself googling sometimes but I for the most part try to avoid that too.

@aurokoi When you picture yourself wearing a “manly” outfit: what do you imagine you’d end up thinking and wanting to do? Compulsions to look out for: - rumination (trying to “figure out” your “real” gender) - mental checking (testing yourself with scenarios, body parts, images, etc to see how you “feel” in response) - mental reviewing (looking back to your past for answers or to analyze a past event/act/feeling) - physical checking (checking yourself for arousal or stimulation to certain images/ideas/etc) - internet research (looking up articles about being trans, how to know you’re trans, coming out, etc)

@pureolife Also if wearing a “manly” outfit is too much: how about a “manly” piece of clothing or accessory? So you don’t do the whole outfit, just one part. Maybe you have a shirt or pair of shoes or bandana or something that “feels manly” now that you have this obsession and so you avoid it.

@pureolife Oh I do some mental reviewing but it’s more like.. “When I was younger I hated whenever someone jokingly said I’m like a guy” or “I’ve never wanted to be anything other than a girl” .... which I guess is reassurance? It’s weird, like my anxiety is only triggered in specific situations (when I think about how I read fanfic, a lot of books with mlm representation, shipping, etc). I almost avoid it completely now whereas before I used to enjoy it for what it was. I want to go back to reading and enjoying that content but I’m just scared of how I’m going to react. I just want to feel like a girl again I also just wanted to say thank you for how kind you are. 🥺

@aurokoi Reassurance sounds like a major compulsion for you: so be aware of that during your exposures! Make sure you’re not reviewing past evidence to show yourself you can’t possibly be trans. Do the things that trigger you on purpose (read fanfic!) and rather than reassuring yourself you can’t be trans, just let the thoughts be there and dissipate without engaging. I’d recommend reading the same fanfic every day for a week or two before switching rather than reading something new each time. That will give you the chance to get better at resisting compulsions to the same stimuli each time.

@pureolife I’ll try finding one and using that. I used to write a lot so many I’ll try writing too. I just really hate that it feels like I won’t ever get to enjoy mlm books without having an identity crisis anymore 😭

@pureolife Did you also deal with tocd?

@aurokoi Yes I’ve gone through it. Find an mlm book you like and use it for erp. Pick a timeframe to read ( maybe just 10 min!) and then stop. Don’t do compulsions. Read the same thing tomorrow. And the next day. After that 10 min read is no longer causing anxiety: read the next 10 min. And re read it each day until it stops causing anxiety. This usually takes 1-2 weeks, so be very kind to yourself when day to day the difference seems small. By the end of the week, it will seem bigger.

@pureolife I hope your recovery is going well! I appreciate your comments so much. I’m going to try to do this. Thank you!!!

@aurokoi Let us know how it goes! Happy to help if you need more guidance along the way