I’m having a breakdown please I don’t know what this is anymore and I’m terrified I can’t do this every one thinks it’s questioning but I know it’s not I just feel terrible and anxious and I can’t stop crying, I don’t want to do this anymore

I would hug you if I knew you irl ❤️ thank you so much, you helped calm me down from one of my worst anxiety attacks in a long time. I’m sending all the love back ❤️ you got this too!

@aurokoi ❤️❤️❤️

I feel like I’m going crazy I hate these thoughts so much like they’re so out of line with who I am and I’m horrified that they’re happening like I am not supposed to be this person I was so confident before. I don’t have ERP exercises bc the psychologist I emailed hasn’t gotten back to me yet and it’s been 4 days and idk what to do because I thought I was doing better but something triggered me and now I can’t stop xrying

@aurokoi Try and take some deep breaths, talk to your parents and try to do the things that make you happy. There is a ocd course online that explains how to do erp that I did as I was nervous to explain everything to a psychologist. I have my first appointment with a psychologist this weekend.

@hanajade Im sorry, I’m just so upset that I’m even doubting these things. I’m going to email the specialist again because I can’t keep doing this without knowing how to properly deal with it. I’m wishing the best for you in therapy!!

@aurokoi Thanks I wish the same for you too. Take care of your mental well-being.

I emailed a specialist a few days ago but I haven’t gotten a response back and idk what to do bc if this isn’t ocd I genuinely don’t know how I’m supposed to handle it bc it just feels so unlike myself and I’m so scared that I’m just gonna stay like this forever or ERP won’t work bc I won’t get triggered enough and ahhhh

@aurokoi You can get connected to a specialist via this app and they take a lot of insurance plans. Therapists often take a while to get back to people - do you have more than one therapist to contact?

@aurokoi Email a few others. And try the ones on this app if it’s available in your area. And also: be patient. You can find one and the work will start then. Working with a specialist is highly effective for ocd.

@M NOCD doesn’t provide therapy in my country :( the one I found was the only one within my budget but I’m starting to get desperate.

@pureolife I know, it’s just so hard bc I thought I was doing better. It’s either I feel disconnected from who I am or I’m feeling intense anxiety and idk which one is worse. I just want to feel okay in my body again and feel like myself. I’m so sorry for breaking down like this, I’m a little bit more calm now. I’m trying to be patient because I know it doesn’t go away overnight but I’m just scared I’m gonna feel this way forever

@aurokoi No need to apologize. This is hard stuff!

@M Thank you <3 It’s genuinely one of the hardest things I’ve gone through and... I’ve gone through a lot. I’m just really sad because I was finally recovering from a lot of trauma and it’s like this is undoing all that process. I’m trying to be gentle with myself but sometimes I just get so angry and frustrated and scared because it feels like my mind is turning against me. I’m going to try to email that specialist again or try finding another one because this is just... too much.

@aurokoi Waiting for help can be awful. And it’s totally okay and normal to feel scared, frustrated, helpless, angry, depressed, and whatever else you’re feeling. I know it’s a lot of money also. But many will help you with a sliding scale or payment plan. And it may be a lot, but this is worth it. Your mental health is worth it. It has to be prioritized above all else.