Another day where all I can do is ruminate cuz I have nothing to do but listen to music. Only thing I can do is watch college football but the only game interesting is BYU vs Coastal Carolina only cuz I want to see if the QB from BYU is worth the hype of being selected in the middle of the 1st rd. I only want to see if he’s a better decision maker and how athletic he is and what type of arm talent he has compared to my Broncos QB. Only other interesting game would be Wisconsin vs Indiana but Indiana lost there QB to a leg injury so it’s not the same.

Thanks. I’m pretty sure I do a lot of what this tells me I just don’t have the desire to do something different cuz there’s not much that interests me. I’m just boring. Also having a weak knee and not being able to go out to eat doesn’t help.

@Issac11_fitforlife https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/how-are-you-justifying-rumination/

@pureolife Ruminating for me isn’t bad. I went 3 months keeping a song in my head so I wouldn’t be able to relax and think about anything. When I ruminate I’m not the one ruminating I let my ocd do it. I just listen to music and let my mind think about whatever pops up without influencing it. If I had something to do I’d do it for like an hr, hr and a half. It’s only when I have nothing to do I do it for longer.

@Issac11_fitforlife Maybe it’s time for a new hobby or to learn a new skill.

@pureolife I’m sort of basic when it comes to having fun. I can’t really do any sports cuz my knee isn’t what it used to be. I don’t like video games. There’s really nothing to watch on tv. I’m not a hiker. All I can do is workout, watch tv, or listen to music not much else.

@Issac11_fitforlife I think you need to do a little more research into common hobbies and skills. There’s a ton more activities out there than what you just described.

@pureolife There probably is but those are my only interests. I only grew up watching or playing sports, watching tv, working out and playing video games. But as an adult I don’t really like video games anymore and find it childish. I stopped playing sports cuz I thought the risk of getting hurt wasnt worth me not being able to workout. I knew this is all I liked as a young adult and thought it would be best that I find a girl real quick that I can see myself getting married with and having kids so that I could have something to do which would’ve been to take care of my kid, have a good paying job, workout and be there for my family. Obviously developing hocd wasn’t apart of the plan. Knowing now when I first started dating I had ROCD but had no idea. It is what it is. I guess that’s why I always find myself being attracted to girls with outgoing fun personalities to keep me entertained and have me on my toes so my life wouldn’t be so boring but it’s who I am. I’m not an overly exciting person. Despite what my previous therapist thinks I’m not. I know who I was before I developed any arousal feelings or sensations or had hocd. I wasn’t that fun unless pressured to go out. I’m not the type of person that finds a lot of things interesting I just don’t. My previous therapist gave me some ideas but to be blunt about it they were what white people do just saying and I just don’t find those weird activities to be that fun. Unless it is to do with sports I’m not going to have that fun I’m just not. I’m not trying to be difficult I just am when it comes to finding activities that would be fun for me. I’m not trying to be a Debbie downer but I’m just being honest. I really don’t like a lot of things maybe I can see myself doing something new like maybe once but will find myself not really caring to do it again and just go back to what I know.

@pureolife Also you don’t have to respond. I’m just getting irritated about this conversation and I’m starting to obsess about this. Thanks for helping but this isn’t going to work for me. I am who I am and that’s that.

@Issac11_fitforlife Sounds pretty close minded to me. And it sounds like doing something new, even if it’s potentially weird or uncomfortable at first, would be good for you. What you’re doing isn’t working. And continuing to do it will continue to not work. It’s okay to open up to new experiences even if you’re afraid they won’t work out. It may take a few tries to find something you actually like and that’s okay. It sounds like you won’t follow this advice though. So I’ll just leave it at that.

@pureolife It’s not that I won’t take your advice it’s that from past experiences every time I try something new I never liked it. Like I said I know I’m closed minded, I know my likes and dislikes. I really just don’t like alot of things. My own family could tell you that I’m not interesting at all and all I did growing up was play sports and that’s it. Anything that had to do with sports I was there anything that wasn’t sports related I was never for. But I’m not a kid anymore and can’t just continue to play sports cuz they have consequences and I’m not like my younger brother who everytime he would come play with us he was just another guy. I always wanted to be the guy and play as hard as I can to win every time. I threw a temper tantrum at my friends for goofing around when we were playing basketball and I left cuz I wasn’t trying to play against them if they weren’t going to take it serious. Sports was all I was and am. Anything else doesn’t give me that much interest. Unless you want to invite me to some weird thing when we get out of this mini shutdown to come do something that is different from what I would normally do to see if I like it I could prove to you in person and yes I remember who you are.