is it good to start ERP with the main thought that's causing you distress or should I start with a smaller one?

what If you cant think of a smaller one?

@abbypengelly Then start with the main one. If you don't mind me asking, what is your main thought rn?

@Natalie123 that I shouldn't have gotten back with my boyfriend

@abbypengelly My advice is I would write down all the reasons you think that it was a bad idea to get back with your partner. And then choose one of the reasons that doesn't cause too much distress for you and then slowly work towards the biggest reason/fear

@Natalie123 I feel that would make it worse tho, cuz deep down I know it wasnt a bad idea but my irrational ocd brain is still trying to convince me otherwise

@Natalie123 I think I know what you mean by start with the smaller cuz even what you just said triggered the anxiety

@abbypengelly Well that is the point of erp :) you'll have to get anxious and do nothing about it. For example, I struggle with cheating ocd. I wrote down all the things I am scared of might happen. Chose one of them, and decribed detaily why I am scared of it, the worst scenario, everything. I got anxious as hell, resisted compulsion and that's how erp works.

@Natalie123 I feel like if I write them down then that will convince me that the thought is right

@abbypengelly It's scary, I know. But you can do this. Your brain needs to learn, that these fears are not valid. The only way, it will learn that, is by purposely exposing your self to them

@Natalie123 for you, did it work best by exposing yourself to a smaller thought first? cuz I think that's what I will do

@abbypengelly Yes, because I was in a really bad state and exposing myself to my biggest fear would be too difficult for me, but some people can do exposure to their biggest fear right away I think.

@Natalie123 I think that it's too soon to expose myself to my biggest fear, I think I will need to think of a smaller one to start with, my therapist said to not "jump into the deep end" right away and I think she is right

@Natalie123 my derealisation is getting very bad also did u find that it went away when u started ERP?

@abbypengelly Then do what your therapist say, she knows what is best for you:)

@Natalie123 did u experience derealisation with your ocd?

@abbypengelly I still struggle with derealization when triggered, it is important just not to react to it

@Natalie123 did u find that ERP helped with that?

@abbypengelly Well derealization is usually another symptom of OCD, you know, just like thoughts, certain feeling etc. Erp for them really is just not to react to them. So yeah, erp works

@Natalie123 thank you so much for your advice, I dont want to seem like I'm pestering you or anything but it's nice to know how it is once you've past the barrier of ERP

@abbypengelly No worries! I am happy to help. I really wish you the best with recovery, it gets much better after like a week of doing erp, after 2, there is a huge shift. Trust me :)

@Natalie123 I think it's just the uncertainty of it all that's making me most anxious

@abbypengelly Yeah, ocd is a need for control

@Natalie123 totally, it's just the "what if when I confront it, its true" that's the hardest hurdle to get over

@abbypengelly That is just another ocd fear. You have to accept the uncertainity of what ifs.

@Natalie123 those moments of relief is what I cling onto because it's how I really feel, before it gets taken over by my ocd