- Username
- uwotm8
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hi!! I’ve been through an emotionally abusive relationship as well and I totally know what you mean - I felt so guilty, but so relieved because he was upset yet I was so glad to be free. Please know you did nothing wrong and you made the best decision you could’ve for yourself! I’m proud of you!! And if he does treat that new girl like gold, let him - as the person above said, he never did deserve you. You deserve to be loved unconditionally and NEVER treated abusively! I’ve talked to my therapist about my own experiences and she said that people like that never change, power and control is how they see other people (this may not relate to your situation, but I thought I’d share just in case). I wish you the best of luck, try not to let him get in your head, you really did make the best decision for yourself💗
Hey I'm not a therapist but just wanted to say I'm here for you. The sad truth is if you feel he will treat another woman better than you because he gets better, he never deserved you and will love you the way you needed. I really truly hope you find your piece and fight to stay away from the toxic relationship, I'm rooting for you🦋
will never love you the way you needed**** ^^
This is exactly me right now. We split a few months ago but still talk every now and then, I was completely under his control. Google narrcasist. Read everything you can about emotional abuse it will empower you to believe he didn't deserve you. I was hurt, cheated on, made homeless etc etc. And now I'm left with the trauma that I can't live without him. I know I can but my OCD and anxiety won't let me. If he doesn't reply to a text when I know he's online I get so bad it's rediculous. What I should do is walk away and cut all contact but I just can't
I know all the terms and know about narcissistic behaviour and manipulative tactics and I even KNOW he does them, unconsciously or not And I feel bad labelling him like what if he’s not a narcissist or whatever but just troubled? I’m still not going back to him but I feel guilty I used to think it was MYSELF! I actually CONVINCED MYSELF I had BPD because I was so triggered and anxious about abandonment and clingy etc but actually I genuinely believe he may have BPD himself. I see a lot of him in the criteria
Everything you are saying is like you are describing me! I'm here for you. We will beat it. I know it's hard. Thank you for your story I'm kind of glad I'm not on my own. It's not just me. I know I was completely under his control and still am in many ways. It's really killing me inside
God no not alone! I feel horrendous 😢 he’s called me over 150 times begging me promising changes which I never saw before so why now? So close to Christmas I feel evil leaving him. I’m here for you too, I’m sad we have this in common but I’m glad we aren’t alone 💕
Don't go back.. I've been there done it loads. 2 days ago went to his to talk ended up in bed. Stupid I know coz a day later I'm checking on him and were fighting over the phone now I haven't heard from him in 12 hours and I'm thinking he's in bed with someone else etc... It's a living nightmare
It’s so hard 😢 I hate him and I loved him! It makes me sad it was all so unnecessary we had a good relationship and he couldn’t resist messing it up messing with my head He swears it’s all because of alcohol he doesn’t meant it blah blah blah and the alcohol only happened because his dad died and his mother is ill etc etc etc But instead of leaning on me he abused me
@uwotm8 And even saying that I’m like “did he really though? Am I just dramatic?”
@uwotm8 No not dramatic at all. He is the problem
someone please reach out im really not doing okay and this is the closest i think ive come to making the decision that ny relationship needs to end but i cant do it. it's gotten so bad that even being around my boyfriend doesn't calm me down or make me feel better out these feelings, it just makes me feel like they're more real. im not confident that I'm just dealing with ocd at all. I'm so worried that my relationship is beyond repair and that I've fallen out of love because of resentment from problems we have. I don't know what love feels like how do I even know and yeah I know lo e isn't a feeling it's a choice but it's so hard to make choices let alone the correct ones when I'm doubting every aspect of our lives and relationship. I don't want to prolong the inevitable and make us both more miserable until we decide to finally end it but I don't want to end it if things can get better and I will feel normal again and in love. not guilty every time I say I love you because then I have the thought that I shouldn't say it because I don't know anymore. How do I talk to him about this. I bring it up but then I gloss it over with a reason that is more understandable and true but less painfu then "I don't know if im falling out of love or even what love feels like and I don't even know myself anymore so I don't know how I feel" and then we kinda comfort eachother until we get too sleepy to stay awake. I know OCD messes with your brain and can make feelings feel so real when they aren't and thoughts that aren't logical make the most sense. I know how it works but having OCD doesn't mean you can't experience the same things other people experience in relationships. So how do you know the difference.
This past week has been very challenging; I have been seeing this guy now for a couple of months, and every now and then I will experience a loss of interest in him. Sometimes this is brought upon by the OCD itself, which makes me not want to be around him because he is the trigger. Other times, it’s hard to tell if I’m genuinely not interested, and this drives me absolutely crazy. I feel like I am leading him on and forcing myself to like him just because I want to be in a relationship. To make things clear, he is the sweetest guy and hasn’t done anything wrong; he knows that I struggle with R-OCD and has been very understanding, but isn’t aware of my periods of disinterest and doesn’t know just how distressed I get. This morning, he texted me and said he can’t wait to see me. While reading his text, I never got excited or felt butterflies, I just felt sick to my stomach because all I can think about is how I’m gonna have to tell him I’m not into him right now. I feel like at this point with the back and forth feelings, I just need to end things. The more I think about it, the more I start to believe and feel that’s the right answer. I get sad because I am starting to catch feelings and don’t want to put a stop to a potentially good relationship. I’m really trying to understand why my feelings for him are constantly up and down.
Hi everyone this is my first post on here but I need advice relationship ocd and ocd in general has taken such a toll on my life as of recently my boyfriend and I decided to not be together we still communicate we’re on good terms and he’ll be visiting soon( long distance) recently a friend I went to school w dad passed and it got me thinking of another friend (male) I used to have feelings for him LONG ago my boyfriend knows of that and I searched his name on Instagram recently and now I feel extremely guilty for this and feel like I need to confess this to my partner did I do something wrong? is this a normal feeling with ocd? someone please give advice.
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