- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi!! I’ve been through an emotionally abusive relationship as well and I totally know what you mean - I felt so guilty, but so relieved because he was upset yet I was so glad to be free. Please know you did nothing wrong and you made the best decision you could’ve for yourself! I’m proud of you!! And if he does treat that new girl like gold, let him - as the person above said, he never did deserve you. You deserve to be loved unconditionally and NEVER treated abusively! I’ve talked to my therapist about my own experiences and she said that people like that never change, power and control is how they see other people (this may not relate to your situation, but I thought I’d share just in case). I wish you the best of luck, try not to let him get in your head, you really did make the best decision for yourself💗
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey I'm not a therapist but just wanted to say I'm here for you. The sad truth is if you feel he will treat another woman better than you because he gets better, he never deserved you and will love you the way you needed. I really truly hope you find your piece and fight to stay away from the toxic relationship, I'm rooting for you🦋
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- 4y
will never love you the way you needed**** ^^
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- 4y
This is exactly me right now. We split a few months ago but still talk every now and then, I was completely under his control. Google narrcasist. Read everything you can about emotional abuse it will empower you to believe he didn't deserve you. I was hurt, cheated on, made homeless etc etc. And now I'm left with the trauma that I can't live without him. I know I can but my OCD and anxiety won't let me. If he doesn't reply to a text when I know he's online I get so bad it's rediculous. What I should do is walk away and cut all contact but I just can't
- Date posted
- 4y
I know all the terms and know about narcissistic behaviour and manipulative tactics and I even KNOW he does them, unconsciously or not And I feel bad labelling him like what if he’s not a narcissist or whatever but just troubled? I’m still not going back to him but I feel guilty I used to think it was MYSELF! I actually CONVINCED MYSELF I had BPD because I was so triggered and anxious about abandonment and clingy etc but actually I genuinely believe he may have BPD himself. I see a lot of him in the criteria
- Date posted
- 4y
Everything you are saying is like you are describing me! I'm here for you. We will beat it. I know it's hard. Thank you for your story I'm kind of glad I'm not on my own. It's not just me. I know I was completely under his control and still am in many ways. It's really killing me inside
- Date posted
- 4y
God no not alone! I feel horrendous 😢 he’s called me over 150 times begging me promising changes which I never saw before so why now? So close to Christmas I feel evil leaving him. I’m here for you too, I’m sad we have this in common but I’m glad we aren’t alone 💕
- Date posted
- 4y
Don't go back.. I've been there done it loads. 2 days ago went to his to talk ended up in bed. Stupid I know coz a day later I'm checking on him and were fighting over the phone now I haven't heard from him in 12 hours and I'm thinking he's in bed with someone else etc... It's a living nightmare
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s so hard 😢 I hate him and I loved him! It makes me sad it was all so unnecessary we had a good relationship and he couldn’t resist messing it up messing with my head He swears it’s all because of alcohol he doesn’t meant it blah blah blah and the alcohol only happened because his dad died and his mother is ill etc etc etc But instead of leaning on me he abused me
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- 4y
@uwotm8 And even saying that I’m like “did he really though? Am I just dramatic?”
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- 4y
@uwotm8 No not dramatic at all. He is the problem
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
- Date posted
- 16w
Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺
- Date posted
- 15w
My psychologist tells me because my thoughts are based off of facts/ broken boundaries which is why I am having thoughts of am i in love , am I settling , and feeling guilty I should let him go to find someone who wouldn’t doubt him that I do not have rocd. She states rocd is intrusive , irrational thoughts not based off of real facts and I may have ptsd not ocd. He kissed someone else before we were official and he finds a certain type of female attractive that I find disgusting . So I spin about these issues all day long to the point I’m so unhappy with him and had to break up . It’s been over a month now but I’m still severely anxious and depressed The thing is I can’t stop thinking about this 24/7 with severe anxiety and depression and nothing is helping me . Can someone please tell me their thoughts
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