How do I know if this is ocd or not? Not diagnosed but I don’t want to waste anyone’s time :/ I’ve been having intrusive thoughts about my gender since September and about my sexuality since much longer. I haven’t had a single day where these thoughts haven’t been in the back of my mind. And when it’s not thoughts it’s the lingering feeling of being off, being fake, or that need to see if the thoughts are true and that I have to inspect them to figure it out. I came out as a lesbian to myself once and gave it a few days but the anxiety just skyrocketed. I felt relief in the moment but it only lasted a day or two before I started wondering why I did that. I have constant headaches and body aches. It’s been so long of this that idek what the truth is anymore. I’ve always been attracted to men and have had crushes on them too and thinking about them felt natural but now it feels so forced. It started off as thoughts of ‘what if I’m a lesbian?’ after a really bad trigger for my trauma, and that plagued me for months. Now when I talk to my friends, my brain starts imagining kissing them or them becoming my girlfriend and it confuses the heck out of me bc I’ve always loved them but not like that but it feels like I want it even though I feel so uncomfortable with it. I’ve never thought about girls THIS MUCH my entire life, and I thought I was bi for a few years (I think I’m just aro, which feels nice to me). It’s constant, the thoughts are just hanging around and I feel like I need to address them but when I do I can’t even figure out where to begin or where I need to end up because it’s just so confusing and anxiety inducing and I can’t hold onto an answer long enough (other than aro) for it to make sense. I keep feeling like I’m in denial bc I try to avoid the thoughts as much as possible since they bring on so much anxiety. I don’t even have any strong feelings against lesbians but this feels so ridiculously forced and wrong for me that idk how to even go about it. Part of me is afraid of confronting the thoughts bc if they’re true I’m going to have to put myself in relationships and situations I’m just not comfortable with but idk!!! I keep feeling like maybe I’m just not giving myself the chance for it to feel good which stresses me out too.