I JUST WANT TO THINK OF GIRLS MY AGE OR OLDER. CAUSE I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE. I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE AS IS BECAUSE OF MY HOCD AND NOW POCD TOO? FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKIKK

@SOOCD I’m so sorry you go through that, that sounds really scary! Please know that OCD skews the way you may see past events, so ruminating may just torture you even more than it already is (believe me I understand). And, I don’t want to reassure you, but you can’t really be gay or a pedophile in denial if you know deep down you aren’t attracted to men or children and that you don’t want anything romantic etc with them. that little voice of doubt is the bitch that is OCD! I totally understand what you mean with feeling in denial, I feel like I’m denying I’m terrible all the time, but I think the way we recover is kind of laughing at the idea, like huh maybe I am terrible or secretly everything I hate, which sucks and is MUCH easier said than done, but we have to take power away from what scares us? And over time it will get easier. I hope this helps!

You should read my earlier post for context

@SOOCD How can I find it? I deal with the same stuff

@Anonymous When I was younger, I specialized anime girls. Like a lot. When I was underage, I liked anime girls that were my age or older/ and 2 years younger. (16-18 range considering my age at the time.) Now that I’m 19, I’m looking back at anime characters ages, and some were younger than I originally thought. And now I’m scared that I’m a pedo in denial when ALL I WANT IN LIFE IS TO LOVE WOMEN THAT ARE MY AGE. MY FUCKING AGE. I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MEN. I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH KIDS. I DONT WANT TO DO ANYTHING ROMANTIC LIKE WITH THE SAME SEX, OR UNDERAGE KIDS. IM SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED BECAUSE IT GOES FROM HOCD TO POCD AND I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE. I WANT TO... AAARRRRRGGHGHJHHHHHHHU