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rosecoloredgirl

Date posted: 4y

I need help. Please. I know it's long and it's a mess but I just need help. Recently, I've been talking to a guy for three months and everything's been great. He's a good guy, assures me sometimes and he doesn't really do things to make me question his faithfulness. We aren't officially together though. Anyway recently, I've been overthinking a lot because a little has changed, but it's so minuscule the good still outweighs the "bad" but then recently a girl had commented on his post and I think it's an ex-match (we met on bumble and he has told me he's been off it since October, we met during September but it wasn't THAT deep before so it's understandable) I know in my gut he's a decent guy and sometimes ex-matches can turn into friends because that happens to me but my overthinking during that time kind of made me lose control of my thoughts. I used to have this habit of checking my ex's followers and following that I tried not to do again but after that I did it with him and it kind of broke my heart to see her on top of the list, more recent than me but then the logical side of my brain was also like "you guys weren't that serious for the first few weeks of meeting so that's fine if she came in a little later than you" anyway basically, i believe he's faithful but sometimes i get intrusive thoughts like what if he's not? and then especially when I'm not busy these thoughts attack me then I end up stalking social media profiles like his or the girl's. Making conclusions and connected trivial things and I honestly think it's stupid and crazy of me to do cause if a friend told me they're doing this i'd be like "girl chill it's probably nothing" I fee guilty that I'm becoming this CRAZY PSYCHO GIRLFRIEND (who isn't evne his gf yet) and i hate it! i'm aware and sometimes i really stop myself but i can't help it sometimes? and i feel like i have to CONFESS to him i've been doing this but we've only known each other for three months and it could scare him off so I don't think that's a good idea. I'm just bothered that I feel like I'm crazy for being stalkerish. Sometimes I also calculate active status, time stamps and shit and analyze This is like a mixture of my trauma from older relationships + OCD mixing and I'm afraid it can fuck up the possibility of a first real relationship. Am i crazy? Am I a psycho? Do I have to confess to him? I'm gonna try my best to stop it and just live my life as normal as I can, I do have a life and I live it but sometimes I get so stuck in my head I end up ruminating and stalking.

Sheeby

Date posted: 4y

You arent a “psycho/crazy”. Just deeply insecure (no offense). I’ve been where you were at once, and legit the only way to not be this way is to accept you feel insecure, let the anixety and emotions pass, and CHOOSE to act rationally. When you’re doing the stalking, calculating etc, you’re living in emotion mind and allowing your emotions to take control. If you don’t like your behavior, you CAN stop it. It’s just going to be hard at first. And might I say, like 50% of ladies are like this when talking to a guy. If I were you, I’d spend your leisure time doing something more positive for yourself, rather than something that reinforces insecurities.

Sheeby

Date posted: 4y

And I mean it’s your choice to confess, do you? You said yourself that you aren’t dating so you don’t owe him anytbing.

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