TRIGGER WARNING I have NOT been diagnosed with ocd BUT I am pretty sure that i have ocd and my mum called the doctors they said it sounds like ocd I'm 12 if this helps anything I struggle to even write things and i normally can't do work because i stress out i cross out the work over and over again i sometimes can't even put my hand on the paper or over the paper or something or whatever because then im "slitting my wrists" or "slitting my neck" or whatever and it stresses me out sometimes i get shouted at by my teachers for not doing any work or barely any work most of the time the teachers dont notice but then they dont notice me crying over it either I think ive always or for ages that ive mainly thought about things before I say them or do them like just so i know what to say or do but now its like I plan it incase i do something that could trigger me or would trigger me (i dont know if its because of this or because of different reasons but im guessing this because i have no other explaination and i dont know if this is ocd but i think it is) and i have to do "fuck off lilly no your not no you dont shut up lilly no your not no you dont" or "shut up lilly fuck off lilly" or like "fuck off lilly fuck off lilly fuck off lilly fuck off lilly shut up lilly shut up lilly shut up lilly shut up lilly" or "shut up lilly shut up lilly shut up lilly shut up fuck off lilly fuck off lilly fuck off lilly fuck off lilly" however many times it feels nesicary and what ever order feels nesicary I also struggle to get changed or unchanged alot because i start repeating it loads of times and if i dont i stress out. I think its because if i dont I'm "slitting my wrists" or "slitting my neck" and it stresses me out also when i walk like in or out of my bathroom i have to keep repeating it and walking in or out of my bedroom i have to keep repeating it or like up or down my stairs or in and out my sisters room and things like that and if i dont i stress out I also tell my mum mostly everything and i can tell she doesn't care its mainly my mum but i sometimes tell other people too and i can tell they dont care either and if anyone interrupts me i have to start again or whatever and if whoever im telling don't answer me i have to start again or whatever and i sometimes ask them if they listened or something or whatever and if they don't answer me i make them listen and then i say or do it again or something or whatever Sometimes I breathe weird or wrong then i keep doing it until it feels or sounds right or just nesicary and i sometimes do it with blinking too and i do many repetitive things because of it too because i didnt blink right or breathe right whilst i did it or i did breathe right or did blink right whilst i did it and it stresses me out I sometimes have thoughts and the other day or once or one time or something or whatever or whatever or something it told me that my house would set on fire or something or whatever I sometimes have thoughts about harming myself or suicide that i DO NOT want to do AT ALL and it stresses me out I think it has been really bad this week or something or whatever or whatever or something to the point where I got my friend to do my work for me (we were only supposed to copy the board) This is also it Ive had ocd for years they keep changing i used to do numbers even numbers then odd numbers then washing my hands now its harm ocd (and unplugging plugs but i didnt know that was a sign of ocd but when i do unplugg and plug in things i have to do it loads of times) i think about harming people and myself that i DO NOT want to do and i hate it it tortures me i have to think "f*** off (my name) no your not no you dont shut up (my name) no your not no you dont" i have to walk over or past things alot of times becsuse it "slits my wrists" or "slits my neck" and i dont want that to happen so i do the things and i even dont do school work because if i write things wrong i have to cross and cross things out and write them loads of times just to cross them out again and put loads of dots and underline things loads of times and sometimes i cant even put my hand on the paper because its "slitting my wrists" or "slitting my neck" and i dont want to put my self under that much stress so sometimes i just dont do it so i dont get stressed but sometimes i get stressed and carry on and then takes ages to stop and when i stop i dont want to start again incase it starts again and i get shouted at by my teachers for not doing any work most of the time the teachers dont notice that ive done none or not much but then they dont notice me crying over it anyway the worse part is mental health day or when they talk about mental health because all they talk about is depression i know depression is bad but why cant you talk about other things like ocd like eating disorders why cant you just talk about the problems im facing and what other people are facing instead of depression all the time ive told teachers about this my old head of year i told her more than ive told any other teacher more than ive told any one i think actually but theyre no help ive never been to a therapist or whatever you have for things like this i really want to go to one because i think i need one but i feel really awkward talking about things like normal things like underwear and puberty and mental health I feel like ill never be normal i feel like i cant have a normal life like bring up a kid and that breaks my heart all the time and that if i ever have a kid i cant bring it up properly or it'll look at me weird or that ill pass it onto them I hate what happens to me in my mind everyday it tortures me everyday I hate that i look at myself abit differently learning its a disability Now that i think of it and i really dont want to say this but a few times i have thought about people sexually any ages normally not even my own i DONT want to think like this I sometimes think about suicide but i dont know if thats an instrusive thought because i DO NOT want to commit suicide AT ALL I hate how my life has come to me not being able to tell my parents or anyone my problems i hate hate HATE IT i dont know what to do...

cameronr

Date posted: 4y

I’ve definitely had it this bad. It gets better. I remember being younger than you are (I’m 24 now) and as I walked out the door to go to school, I’d look at something, think about touching it, and even after I’ve gotten in the car ran back in and touched it. Had no idea what OCD was then. Took me forever to realize all of this is because we have “sticky minds.” Some things that helped me get out of an OCD loop: cold shower to shock me into paying attention to the cold (or anything that will take your attention away with force), treating the OCD like a bully and telling it to piss off and having an OCD to do the exact opposite of what my OCD says, and thinking of OCD like a tool (a hammer in this case) being used on the wrong thing (like a screw instead of a nail). OCD is not a disability. Don’t think of it that way! I mean this too. I even told my girlfriend recently: it’s actually gotten me pretty far in life. There are so many things that require intense thought patterns and focus and most people just can’t do it like we can. For example, debates: you can think out every one of your opponent’s arguments, what they might say to whatever you might say and come up with counters to all of those too. OCD really is a tool. Sometimes tools are used on the wrong things. I’m not just BSing you, I promise. I wouldn’t want my OCD to go away forever because it helps me think in ways I couldn’t without it. OCD is kinda like an addiction to checking out the next thought. ERP really helps with some of your examples, like the slitting wrist thing, because once you do it without anything bad happening your mind will move onto something else. So grab a piece of paper and mess with it, crumble it up, maybe even touch the edge to your fingers or wrist or something. Proving to your mind that there’s no actual worry will force it to drop the worry, at least temporarily. You’ve got this. Trust me. It gets better. You’re just thinking a lot about having OCD. OCD about having OCD really sucks because it’s hard to see past it, but I recently had that and I’m here now, relaxed as ever. You can do it. OCD won’t kill you. Instead of being afraid of these things, ask for more, bring it on. Do what your OCD is scared of (as far as the actions triggering this, not slitting your wrist).

cleoeastwood

Date posted: 4y

Thankyou

dono98

Date posted: 4y

You’ll get better! It might not seem like it, but you can get better

Nzz

Date posted: 4y

My ocd started showing up at a young age. I started having to repeat my steps if my thoughts weren’t right simultaneously as that step. At one point I remember having to rewrite my homework multiple times. Eventually, I just forced myself to keep going. Keep writing. Keep walking. Of course it’s way easier said than done. And I’m struggling with it again now as an adult. But this is my first time seeing an actual ocd therapist. I’m hopeful and know that I’ll feel significantly better after the first session. They hear this stuff all day long. No thought or compulsion is going to freak them out. They know exactly how to handle it. Your issue sounds exactly like ocd. I would encourage you to see a therapist on here.

cleoeastwood

Date posted: 4y

Thankyou

amineb04

Date posted: 4y

I'm 16 and I've had it for a year now. I won't lie and say it'll go away cos there's a chance that it won't. But it will probably get better in the end. If u need anything I can give u my snapchat?

cleoeastwood

Date posted: 4y

I would like that and thankyou

cleoeastwood

Date posted: 4y

That would be great!

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