- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey, I really relate to where youāre coming from. A couple nights ago I was sure I had to die, that it was the only way to end what was happening or to help people around me? I guess? Not a great situation, but I decided to text a friend. She ended up listening and working through my thoughts with me and helped me calm down A LOT. OCD is an expert at telling us we are undeserving or unwanted but we canāt let it win. No matter what your mind tells you youāve done or will do, you deserve to live. And you are loved. I promise. There is nothing you could do to be undeserving of this. If you need someone to talk to, please donāt hesitate to reach out, I can give you my discord or something! I just want you to know you are wanted. I really relate to your story and Iām so so sorry you are going through this. Sending you love and self compassion. Please be kind to yourself today<3
- Date posted
- 4y
I had the same yesterday. I talked to my best friend, who calmed me down as well. Thatās why I recommended that as well.
- Date posted
- 4y
I know the pain. Really, if itās so bad, maybe it helps talking to a friend. That helped me a few days ago. I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes reaching out, If everything you learned āfailedā itās good. Maybe share how you feel with someone. Ocd makes you like a child fighting 100 adults at the same time. Iām sure youāre loved. Maybe just reach out to them and tell them how you feel. You can do it. We all can do it.
- Date posted
- 4y
Are you seeing a therapist?
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
17f Just like the title says. I came to realization that I lost a whole year of life. I remembered my real event in the end of january of 2024. Since then my life has been a living hell. Also kinda made a couple new smaller events through this year. And I know I deserve it cause my event was actually bad. Even people without ocd on reddit agree it was bad. It's still ocd, but I deserve it probably. For this whole year I haven't had a day when I wouldn't think of it. It became my default state to constantly have it on my mind. I walked around, pretended to have fun, talked to people. Most of the time I wasn't really there, I was thinking about my event. My event haunts me when I'm awake, when I'm asleep. I spend this whole year either freaking out, being depressed, thinking on methods to off myself, ruminating, seeking reassurance or trying to distract myself with books, TV shows, social media or daydreaming. Literally barely engaged with reality. So it's so hard to believe a whole year passed... I can barely remember anything that happened during this year. I can't believe this is my life. Probably doesn't really matter cause I don't plan on staying there that long. There is no way I'm going to experience piece with myself. So I will be out in a year or so, since my plan requires some time. Finally will end it all. It just feels very weird. A whole year passed. I was so deep down in my head I didn't even notice. It's scary.
- Date posted
- 10w
Hello š, so uhm Iām kind of in the point of my POCD where Iām just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that Iām a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heresās where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when Iāve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. Iāve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now canāt figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where Iāve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and Iām tired so so so so so so tried š idk help me? Please TT
- Date posted
- 6w
Iāve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didnāt realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didnāt. Hereās where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew š«) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when Iām not looking so I didnāt know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldnāt get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didnāt have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like itās getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst itās been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I canāt handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times Iām getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I canāt deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. Iām so saddened by this. Itās like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I canāt stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvementsā¦
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond