I’m in turmoil trying to figure out if I’m a homosexual. I keep thinking I’m homosexual but never believed that I was until very recently and have had multiple heterosexual relationships. I cannot tell what is real and what is not anymore and I’m losing my mind. I have no idea of whether I am heterosexual, homosexual or bi-sexual? I can accept being bi-sexual as it means the relationships that I had were not fake or simply a cover up. However my counsellor has told me that I’ve more than likely repressed all my homosexuality and used my relationships as a cover. Has anyone had serious trouble with their sexuality and can you please help? This is horrible

I have a problem maybe you guys can help, Im 27 years old and NEVER doubt that about my sexuality before, i was (i think im still) girl crazy and i have nothing against gay people i have friends how are gay, i was working nights shifts like for 3 months straight and not sleeping at all, and one day i was drinking and smoking weed, having a good time and from no where this thought that i might be gay appears, and have been struggling for about 5 months from now, i now i have a crush on this girl we are even dating but some times it thoughs feels so real like im on a denial and get depressed i used to be a happy person with out doubts about my sexuality i mean im 27 years i should have seen this coming long time ago if its real right? At this point I don't know what to do i live in a country that therapy is hard to find especially this kind im taking some medication but i need help this is taking my life and im afraid that im liying to my girlfriend, what should i do ? Is this HOCD or im on a denial? ( Sorry about my English, is not my first language)

So basicaly Two days ago I found a video on YouTube about astrology, and the woman speaking said smth like: you should look inside yourself because you have a tendency to ignore your own identity and your own true feelings. Instantly I thought of this endeavouring rumination about me being bisexual. Cause now I’ve kinda come to terms with the fact that in no way am I gay. So okay, the thing is, recently I’ve started to think that girls especially have an inclination towards bisexuality, mainly because they are affectionate with other girls. Bear in mind the fact that, since this hocd started, the lines between normal dating actions and behaviours between people are blurred to me. Now I realize that I am ruminating more and more this possibility of me being bisexual, but there are counter arguments like : I would never ever date a woman, I would never ever have sex with a woman and to me they are beautiful yes, they are sexy etc but I don’t want to do anything with them. Then, my consequent thought is maybe I have internalized homophobia idk. This is all soooo distressful and irritating and confusing. Deep down I know that I am a straight girl, but I feel guilty every time someone asks about my boyfriend because of these intrusive thoughts. It feels like I am lying to them, telling them that I am straight, when in fact I am not. Have you ever had such experiences?

Does anyone else feel like when they say their identity out loud it is a lie? Like I am a straight woman and have been straight my whole life and have been in two relationships—both with men who I was happily in love with. I can draw my intrusive thoughts back to childhood, but it was always a very brief experience where I would be like “oh I finally have nothing to worry about” and then my brain would be like “wait nevermind you have to worry about the fact that you are gay and in denial.” But every time, these thoughts would go away and I would never have them when I was actually in my relationships or talking to someone. These fears are now back and more real than ever, making me feel like I am actually physically attracted to women and losing my natural biological attitude to men. I do not want to be gay at all and the thought of being that has been making me physically I’ll because it is just now who I am and want to be. I think what makes this all worse is that it’s been awhile since I’ve been in a relationship, so having these thoughts and feelings feels like reality because I have no recent experience with being in a relationship with a man and because of that, my self esteem is extremely low. I now feel triggered by every little thing in life, from hearing the word “gay”/“lesbian”/“lgbt”/“coming out”, to seeing any women of literally any age or appearance out in public, thinking I must be attracted to them. I keep checking my attraction to both males and females and am fearful because I feel like I am losing my attraction to men, which is something that never happened when these thoughts appeared in my life before this most recent flare up. I don’t know if any other people who identify as straight have similar experiences to this, but I cannot help but feel like I am the exception because I did have these thoughts before now (even though they went away for years). I would appreciate any help/insight because the longer I struggle with these thoughts, the farther and farther I feel my old, true self drifting away. I was always able to hang onto the fact that I want a future with a man and want a husband and kids, but now it’s like even that is gone and even though I never want to be with a woman, it’s like these thoughts have convinced me that I will never be with a man. Please help.