I’m in turmoil trying to figure out if I’m a homosexual. I keep thinking I’m homosexual but never believed that I was until very recently and have had multiple heterosexual relationships. I cannot tell what is real and what is not anymore and I’m losing my mind. I have no idea of whether I am heterosexual, homosexual or bi-sexual? I can accept being bi-sexual as it means the relationships that I had were not fake or simply a cover up. However my counsellor has told me that I’ve more than likely repressed all my homosexuality and used my relationships as a cover. Has anyone had serious trouble with their sexuality and can you please help? This is horrible

Another victim of talk therapy it seems. Find a therapist experienced in OCD and ERP.

Or you have HOCD, one of the most common themes in OCD? It can happen to anyone of any orientation. The treatment is regular CBT, ie consider the thoughts as just thoughts, don't answer them (don't deny or accept them), expose yourself. The trick is to be ok with the uncertainty, maybe you are gay/straight/bi/pansexual/etc. maybe you are not. It's not really a choice either so you're being anxious over something you have no control over.

Yes I’ve had a struggle with my sexuality and came to the conclusion that I’m bisexual. However I hadn’t had any relationships at the time because I was quite young. I think it’s possible to fall in love with someone regardless of sexual attraction so I doubt your relationships were fake unless you knew that at the time. If you can, try to remove emotional connections and just think about whether you are sexually attracted to men or women. I got myself into a complete mess trying to figure out my sexuality and in the end I only figured it out when I stopped trying and just gave it time. If you’re unsure you can identify as queer or questioning so that you have a label if that makes you feel more comfortable. If you’re like me then you may find that you’re just attracted to personalities and gender doesn’t really matter. Hope this helps you.

It's not your responsibility to know for sure.

I have to say that when I gust started questioning my sexuality it did come as intrusive thoughts and to start with I felt more lesbian than bisexual because it was new so don’t completely deny anything just try to give it time.

Thank you very much, this helps a lot.. I will buy the book and work on it

Thank you very much, this helps a lot. I find that now I’m attracted to men more than women but don’t know if that’s how I really feel or if it’s just because it’s new. I have never fancied a man but don’t know if that’s because I’ve never allowed myself to? When I’m not feeling down I know I’m not gay but when I do feel down I keep thinking I’m gay. Maybe I’m just petrified of being homosexual

Thank you very much @santiago, I’m not sure what it is but I will make a sizeable effort to try not to let them take control. Is it possible for you to have a fantasy of homosexual but it is not actually true? Or do I just except that they are thoughts?

Thanks @sully0421, I’m trying to be as open as possible but hard to differentiate your feelings and ocd

Yeh I definitely struggle with that too and just because I was in a similar situation and I turned out to be bi doesn’t mean you are I just hope that my experience can help you at least a little bit

Of course it's possible, it's on your mind all the time so you are going to think about it and dream about it more. The only thing you have to do is a) nothing and b) have the courage to expose yourself for a long time

Just be ok with the possibility of losing control, if you do end up having feelings, urges, actions, or thoughts in a way that is different to your sexuality, whatever that may be, so be it. It'll scare you at first until it doesn't.

Get the book "break free from OCD".