- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Another victim of talk therapy it seems. Find a therapist experienced in OCD and ERP.
- Date posted
- 6y
Or you have HOCD, one of the most common themes in OCD? It can happen to anyone of any orientation. The treatment is regular CBT, ie consider the thoughts as just thoughts, don't answer them (don't deny or accept them), expose yourself. The trick is to be ok with the uncertainty, maybe you are gay/straight/bi/pansexual/etc. maybe you are not. It's not really a choice either so you're being anxious over something you have no control over.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I’ve had a struggle with my sexuality and came to the conclusion that I’m bisexual. However I hadn’t had any relationships at the time because I was quite young. I think it’s possible to fall in love with someone regardless of sexual attraction so I doubt your relationships were fake unless you knew that at the time. If you can, try to remove emotional connections and just think about whether you are sexually attracted to men or women. I got myself into a complete mess trying to figure out my sexuality and in the end I only figured it out when I stopped trying and just gave it time. If you’re unsure you can identify as queer or questioning so that you have a label if that makes you feel more comfortable. If you’re like me then you may find that you’re just attracted to personalities and gender doesn’t really matter. Hope this helps you.
- Date posted
- 6y
It's not your responsibility to know for sure.
- Date posted
- 6y
I have to say that when I gust started questioning my sexuality it did come as intrusive thoughts and to start with I felt more lesbian than bisexual because it was new so don’t completely deny anything just try to give it time.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you very much, this helps a lot.. I will buy the book and work on it
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you very much, this helps a lot. I find that now I’m attracted to men more than women but don’t know if that’s how I really feel or if it’s just because it’s new. I have never fancied a man but don’t know if that’s because I’ve never allowed myself to? When I’m not feeling down I know I’m not gay but when I do feel down I keep thinking I’m gay. Maybe I’m just petrified of being homosexual
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you very much @santiago, I’m not sure what it is but I will make a sizeable effort to try not to let them take control. Is it possible for you to have a fantasy of homosexual but it is not actually true? Or do I just except that they are thoughts?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks @sully0421, I’m trying to be as open as possible but hard to differentiate your feelings and ocd
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeh I definitely struggle with that too and just because I was in a similar situation and I turned out to be bi doesn’t mean you are I just hope that my experience can help you at least a little bit
- Date posted
- 6y
Of course it's possible, it's on your mind all the time so you are going to think about it and dream about it more. The only thing you have to do is a) nothing and b) have the courage to expose yourself for a long time
- Date posted
- 6y
Just be ok with the possibility of losing control, if you do end up having feelings, urges, actions, or thoughts in a way that is different to your sexuality, whatever that may be, so be it. It'll scare you at first until it doesn't.
- Date posted
- 6y
Get the book "break free from OCD".
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 15w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
- Date posted
- 15w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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