Can bisexual people have HOCD, fear of losing attraction to one sex? I just wanna ask a question about bisexuality and HOCD. As of recent, I’ve been questioning my sexuality a lot. Since I was younger I’ve always known I’ve been attracted to women, and my romantic interests have all been women. I’ve always known that I have an attarction to women, that I knew 100 percent. But my attarction with guys has always been questioning. I have had gay thoughts and fantasies, I’ve found some men attractive and masturbated and have been aroused by gay pornography. Yet it’s all still really questioning for me, I’m a firm believer that everybody is slightly bisexual, we all fit on the spectrum some way. As a result I guess I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m mostly straight/slightly bisexual. With this questioning, it hasn’t been very comfortable but it hasn’t been extremely distressing. But a lot of this quetsioning I guess stems from porn, I don’t think porn is a good indicator of sexuality. I mean it’s produced for the intention of arousal, that’s the whole point. Yet I began obsessing over whether I was enjoying gay porn more than straight. I’ve found myslef looking at both and began comparing my experience with both. I feel like this is what triggered it all, as I began obsessing. It felt like I wasn’t enjoying or getting as aroused by straight porn as I previously had, or then with gay porn. But this was all questioning I didn’t know if it was concrete. I then looked at straight porn and I didn’t immediately arouse me, I started panicking. It then seemed suddenly overnight I had lost all my attraction to women. My attarction is to women, I’ve always been 100% sure of. This sudden loss of attarction felt EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTBABLE. This is when I began to suspect this was a theme of OCD. With normal questioning, it wasn’t comfortable but it wasn’t as distressing as this. I began obsessing over the fear of lost my attraction to women, and it felt so real. It felt like I could no longer get aroused, it felt all my attarction had disappeared, and I started freaking out. Suddenly overnight it all seemed to disappear and it was terrifying. I really think that this is OCD, I couldnt stop ruminating and researching and it brought me extreme distress. When I quetsion whether I have an attarction to guys, it doesn’t feel that uncomfortable really. That’s where my question really stems from, I don’t really have a problem with having an attraction to guys. I’m still trying to figure out whether I’m heretosexual or bisexual, or somewhere in between. Yet what I am terrified of is my loss of attarction to women, that is so terrifying and distressing to me and has lead to so much rumination and stress and anxiety. The thought of being bisexual doesnt trouble me, yet loosing attarction to women does. It just doesn’t feel right and it feels so scary, especially as I’m currently in a relationship. I love her so much and my sexual orientation changing is such a scary thought in how it could effect us. Prior to all of this I was sure of my attarction to women, now I’m not and that’s so scary to me. And that’s really what my question is, can bisexual people have HOCD over the fear of loosing attraction?

NoRuminations

Date posted: 4y

I have a similar story asking why my attraction towards women has basically faded. I identify as a heterosexual male. I had a similar situation where I would watch straight porn and eventually started watching gay porn. I realized at some point straight porn didn’t do as much as straight porn. And that’s where my HOCD started. It was confusing to me. I think a lot has to do with rewiring our brains. How long it will take or if my attraction will come back? Idk. A lot of people who watch porn (especially a lot), straight porn gets “boring”. Your brain is looking for something more, something more taboo. And that’s when gay, lesbian, transsexual, BDSM porn come in. Our brain doesn’t care what we watch, nor does it know our sexual orientation. Our brain is searching for that dopamine rush it gives us. I’m not sure about you, but for me I would feel grossed out while doing it BUT I liked the rush and the feeling of anxiety it gave me. I liked how it felt wrong. Porn messes people up. I strongly believe if I never started watching porn, HOCD would have never taken over my life.

ramosvitorio

Date posted: 4y

Yeah. I’m still questioning my attarction and all, and I’m okay with that. However i do feel like porn has contributed massively to the obsessions im having. In the end I think porn is really designed for arousal, and doesn’t always reflect in real life preference. For me it was really just oh look it’s two attarctive people having sex, Arousal etc etc. I’m really just trying to figure out the degree of my bisexuality. The fear of losing attarction to women terrifies me though and I really want to talk to a specialist to identify whether it’s OCD and how I can work to treat it. Today I’ve felt better, like a lot better, but there’s been terrible days

NoRuminations

Date posted: 4y

@ramosvitorio Wanting to find out the degree of your bisexuality if you trying to find an answer. You will never find the answer to that. That’s part of OCD is wanting to have a 100% answer.

NoRuminations

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous You have to accept the uncertainty.

ramosvitorio

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous I haven’t felt that uncomfortable when looking into it however, but I guess it’s really what triggered all of this. Do you think it would be best to just allow it to all happen naturally and not go out of my way to question and discover

NoRuminations

Date posted: 4y

@ramosvitorio Talking with a therapist from NOCD will help you know if what you have is OCD. I don’t want to give you wrong advice or information. I don’t want to give you the advice of letting is happen “naturally” if you have OCD. With OCD thoughts, feelings, and emotions can feel so REAL. So that might not be the best thing. The advice I can give if you have to accept the thoughts you have. Not accepting as in believe them, but accept the presence of them. Do your best not to ruminate with your thoughts. Do your best not to act in compulsions to find that “relief” and “reassurance”. Focus on being mindful and being in the present moment.

ramosvitorio

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous Thank you so much. My problem is that I live outside the US, so I can’t access any of the call feustres to therapist. Do you know any alternatives ?

NoRuminations

Date posted: 4y

You’re welcome! I’m not sure, I think there might be some other people who know if you post asking. I know not everyone on this app lives in the US. So maybe someone else who lives outside of it might know.

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