- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm so sorry you're going through this, OCD can be such a cruel thing to live with. Sometimes it truly feels like my brain is on overdrive 24/7, like there's no escape from the thoughts. BUT--as far as backsliding goes--you mentioned you'd come a long way from the beginning only to end back up in the same spot. I've just had to start hanging on (for dear life tbh) to the thought that Relapses don't erase your progress. Even on days where I feel like I'm back at rock bottom again, I have new tools and knowledge to help myself. You can fall back into old patterns and feel like you've lost all your progress, and that's so painful, especially when you were getting better and OCD felt like it was receding a little--but you don't have to give up, and you haven't erased the work you did to get better. That knowledge and willpower is still there, OCD is just really strong rn--but eventually it'll back off again. There will be good days, okay days, and tough days. Maybe you're in a rough patch, but there *are* good days ahead of you. Re: no motivation maybe being connected to meds, could you talk to your psych about the dosage? IDK if this will help, but one thing that helped me during low points: -I've made lists of my successful exposures and also good experiences I've had in spite of OCD. I sometimes read over them just to remind myself things can and will get better, and to be able to see the work I've put in. I know you said you're feeling numb--you don't have to feel happy or inspired or w/e when you read these. It's just like, objective proof that you can have good days. If your brain tells you you're stuck in a rut forever, point at the list lol. It's gonna be okay ♥️
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey. If treatment is something that has helped like you said then you most definitely need to keep at it. Don't engage in the treatment for one moment and let OCD do the rest. Treatment is the most effective way for fighting this horrible monster in your head. But, I'm also here to tell you that it's not your fault at all. None of it is. What you should do is do all the things you used to excel in before OCD came in and made things harder for you. Taking care of yourself, taking deep breaths, continuing your treatment, and trying to be as compassionate to yourself as you possibly can. I'm sorry your parents are also busy quite a lot. It's okay to feel the way you're feeling. Don't feel like you have to be happy all the time or it's a bad thing is something is flawed in your life. Everyone is flawed and everyone has problems to get through. Like this entire year as an example. We all go through things together, no matter who we are or where we are. As living things, we feel pain, and sometimes we get all numb. If you need to talk about what's wrong or what your OCD latched onto, I can try my best to provide company for you.
- Date posted
- 4y
Try to get off the meds. Meds can make you feel numb/emotionless/have no zest for life. Try a different medication. And continue doing the therapy because OCD will lessen as you continue doing it, you just have to be proactive and consistent. What helps me to cultivate joy is to think about all the good things that have happened in my life, year, month, week, or day... even down to the littlest things. I keep a journal and write down happy moments that happen in spite of OCD (and the more I do my therapy, the more happy moments I get). That gives me more joy about my life and makes me appreciate the blessings God has given me. 💖
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
This isn’t OCD related so I’m sorry, but I don’t know another platform like this where I can talk to other people and actually get responses. OCD has been a huge fucking setback for me in life. I had to drop classes, wasn’t able to do things, and just felt so shitty all the time because of it. I feel like I blame OCD for everything I’m not. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. Just today I saw someone I once knew and felt all of those feelings I used to have that made me miserable. Anyways, I tried taking my driver’s test a couple days ago but I wasn’t able to. The DMV only accepted cash. I felt upset but it was whatever. I’m almost 19, and I don’t have a driver’s license. So passing it would mean a lot to me. I compare myself to others my age; they have cars, hobbies, friends, go to college, etc… I don’t have any of that. Maybe comparing myself and all of that is my fault. My family says it’s my fault I’m sad because I just wallow in it. Hearing them say that makes me frustrated and hurt, but maybe they’re right. My mom texted a couple of my siblings in a group chat I wasn’t a part of, “He wants to wallow and be depressed. And woe is me, wah wah wah.” That made me really angry because my siblings were agreeing with her. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am selfish and think the world revolves around me. My sister tells me I need to advocate for myself more, I just don’t want to be a burden. I’ve only been a burden my whole life. My OCD created this whole issue in my family and I hate that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want an answer. Am I really a loser? Do I really wallow in it? Am I not trying like my family says? I just want to talk to someone.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I had to cancel my therapy because it was no longer available with my insurance. And I just kind of feel hopeless with OCD. Even when I was doing therapy, I think my OCD started getting too complicated for my therapist and she didn’t even know what to do. My fears are so complex it’s crazy. So my big fear is my OCD being bad and being super depressed again like I was a few months ago in high school. I attended a public highschool for a semester and started the worst flare up I’ve ever had. I was harshly bullied for no reason whatsoever, and not accepted by anyone. I am an athletic kid who usually keeps to himself so I didn’t understand why people targeted me, especially when I wanted nothing to do with them. From August to now ( March) I CANNOT grasp hold of my OCD. I am very hard on myself about it. Going into dangers anytime I see one so I can expose myself. But constantly obsessing about if I’m doing enough for my OCD. And comparing myself to how I use to be, before the flare ups. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep I’m obsessing about my OCD and if it’s bad and comparing. Another HUGE fear of mine is being treated differently because I have OCD. So being bullied for so long I always assumed it was because I was shy and didn’t want to stand up for myself - due to my OCD- so I blamed myself for everything that continued to happen, . from people bullying me in the past . The people at that highschool were downright crazy. Even the teachers and coaches had major issues and I’m so glad to be out of there, but I still obsess the same everyday and hold so much resentment for that school and when I try to let it go, I just feel more passive pain and obsess even more about it weather my ocd is okay or not. I feel mentally sick. Please someone give me some advice for my fears, because I feel like I’m doing everything in my power to expose myself to everything but nothings working.
- Date posted
- 20w
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
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