A serious T/W I'm having a hard day and I don't think I will ever go through with this. Heading into the new year, I'm not happy. I've made a decision to ****** ****** at the end of the month of January. I'm a bit scared to explicitly say it, that's why I censored it. Pure Ocd/Real event have been taking a serious toll on me this year. I seriously don't know what to do. It's sad because there was many things I want to accomplish in life, such as graduating University, having the dream career I've always wanted as a child, and falling in love and started a family. I can't continue and I am ashamed of myself. Its difficult to wake up every day and there was a period where I developed insomnia and I couldn't eat well. The best option for me is to not be here anymore.

Yeah that’s super scary. The fact that you know those thoughts are wrong and they disgust you, shows that you’re not a bad person

Hey you’re ok. Breath. Remember the things you are looking forward to, because you can still have them! Think about how fucking strong you are! You’ve gotten through this, you CAN do this. I know it’s crippling and feels useless and you just don’t want to feel anything anymore. But it will get better. I was in the place this summer where I wanted to hurt myself and end it all too. But I didn’t. And it got better. My head feels better, I’m not constantly sick to the stomach, I can breath, and I have things in life to work towards. You can do this, and you can talk to us, you know we understand and will work through this with you

Please don't do this, lovely. I've been through so many times where I've felt at such a low ebb with my OCD and every single time, the anxious feelings have passed after a while (even if it's weeks). ERP will help reduce the anxiety if you stick with it. Please keep fighting — there are people out there who care about you, myself included